Second chance for boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 months, talking for almost a year. Well today I found out he was holding hands with his ex. I called him out on it and asked him why and he said "I don't know, I don't like her I was just holding hands with her" which pissed me off. He didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Well to me it was. We argued about it and told him it was either her or me, not both. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me and he was sorry. He promised one more chance and it wouldn't happen again, he was going to stay away from her all together. I was dumb enough to give him a second chance. But I plan on forgiving not forgetting. I really do love my boyfriend and I don't want to not be with him, but if he does anything like that again.

So am I wrong for giving him a second chance?

Or should I not even have been mad in the first place?

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31

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not wrong for giving him a second chance-- it's just the wrong choice: a matter of naivete and not acknowledging his character/what is best for you.

    Let me break it down like this. After 3 months, he has hurt you in the following ways (probably more since this is only what you are telling us):

    After you called him out on what he did, he

    1) Played dumb (manipulation)

    2) Minimized what he did ("it's not a big deal"), thus invalidating your feelings

    3) Denied something obvious to make you feel crazy (how can he hold hands with an EX if he doesn't like her?!)

    So, my point is, it's not just what he did, but how he handled it. He refused to have a mature, heartfelt conversation with you. Trust me, this stuff does not get better with time.

    Please dump him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You were right to be upset and you are not wrong for giving him a second chance. Give him a second chance and if he does it again, bye-bye.

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What Girls Said 2

  • As a girl I should say no. If your going to forgive you have to forget because trust me at one drunken night all of this anger will come out and it won't be pretty. And to be honestif he's holding hands with his ex he's still in love with her. You don't hold your ex hand because you have to. There are some guys out there that given a second chance they will do everything they can to correct the mistake but only if he really wants you. But you have to do your part as well and its so hard to trust that person after a betrayal. Its up to you and whether or not you can move on.

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  • Only 3 months and he's doing that...and that's just what you caught him doing... truth is, once trust is gone, it's gone!

    There are too many good guys out there that wouldn't do that to waste your time with one that would!

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