its a long story, but if your willing to give your time to read and give me advice, I seriously will appreciate it as I need it bad right now.
basically, me and my now ex boyfriend had been together for 14 months. perfect relationship like you wouldn't have believed. yes, we argued and fought and did all stuff that couples do, but we had an amazing relationship. never cheated on each other, never hurt each other and always loved and cared each other. anyway, the reason we broke up was my mistake. for the duration of our relationship, I had issues trusting him. not because he couldn't be trusted, but because my ex still haunts me because he shattered my trust so so much. I know your all thinking 'you can't have a relationship without trust' and I know you cant, your right! but the thing is, I'm so angry and upset at myself :'( I've been so stubborn when it came to trusting him, whenever he wanted to go out, I wouldn't say no, id just be like so concerned he was going to cheat. eventually it came to him never going out because he wanted to avoid the conflict. in my gut and my heart, I've ALWAYS known that I trust him and he wouldn't hurt me, but my mind over powers that or at least I've let it and I have put so much crap on him.
we recently broke up, nearly 2 weeks ago. and a couple of days ago I saw him to make sure we can clear the air and see where to really go from here. he told me that he wanted to be friends with me because he cares so much about me that he doesn't want to lose everything we had. and he said if he realized he made a mistake, he'd come back and see if I would take him back. he's basically testing the 'you never realize what you had until its gone' thing. he also kept kissing me on the cheek and the forehead and was saying that it was so hard not to kiss me or touch me, and I took off his ring and he saw and had a massive problem with it, as did he when I asked if he could take his stuff home. he refused it. he also said that if any guy tries it on with me, he'd absolutely kill him and we came to the agreement that we weren't going to see anyone else for the time being until we know this is really it. also he said he loves me, and always will.
i know I've made mistakes, but the thing is I know this will make us stronger if he lets us. I Haven't begged him, I've took a step back for now. I just want him to realize that we can fix this mistake, and that our relationship is good enough to give it another go. I want to prove to myself and to him that I can be a good girlfriend and that I can learn from this lesson, and move on with it. I know we're not together, but what can I do people to make him realize that this doesn't have to be it?
does no contact work?
if I'm out with him around, what do I do to make him think hmmm?
how can I prove to him that I trust him now that I'm not with him?
i need all the advice I can get. I'm not desperate, but I am just not giving up because its something I know can be fixed! thank you people xxxxxxxxx
Most Helpful Girl
I seriously just went through this same exact thing, in fact, if you go through my history of questions, that will be proven to you! I was with this guy for 2 years and we broke up basically because we would get into arguments because every time I would hear of him even talking to another girl, I would get "mad". He did the same thing, but it began to wear on both of us. So we broke up, we were still in love with each other, we decided not to see other people and still hung out and stuff. But this is what you need to listen to...
The more we hung out during our break up, the more we started to hate each other. Because we were still trying to control each other but we both got used to being single and doing our own thing. Basically, I was the one who had the broken heart out of this relationship, but I got so tired of him trying to control my life that I finally decided to stop talking to him. And I did. I told him I was going to but his exact words were "doubt it". So I completely stopped talking to him for about a week. Then one day I get a text from him asking if he could cruise with me and my friends. I decided I'd let him, that I'd be the more "mature" one. So I let him and I treated him like one of my best friends, he apparently felt so uncomfortable because of how nice I was to him, that he had me take him back to his car. He then started texting me telling me he didn't think I'd actually be done with him and by the end of it, we were dating again, after 5 months of that stupid sh*t.
Basically, you need to make him realize you don't need him in your life, that you will be okay either way. And you need to act like you don't care what he does as far as hanging out with other girls and such. Do your own thing and let him do his, even if it bugs you. Trust me, you will become MUCH stronger!----sorry for the long response!0
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