Absence makes the heart grow fonder or out of sight, out of mind? As far as exes go?

My ex and I broke up two months ago and he rebounded right away to avoid dealing with it. I got a call from him saying he misses me, that he feels stupid for just ending things and really stupid for getting with another girl so fast. We talked for like 2 hours and I felt we still had a lot of chemistry, but he said that he needs to figure things out and he's sorry he contacted me while he had a girlfriend while he's still confused (I got mad at him for it, told him I don't like having my head messed with)

But the thing is I love him and can forgive him, and hope that he'll choose to come back. So which do you think is the truth: Absence makes the the heart grow fonder, or Out of sight out of mind?

I don't want to be out of mind, but I do want to give him space he needs.

Updates:
I guess I should be more clear on whether I should just leave him to think or still talk to him about it? I don't want to have to wonder long about this, I wish he'd just make up his mind

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Absence made me realize how much better off I am after this relationship. Dumped in a text after being told she wants "forever", ignored me and gave me no closure and then moved on quickly. I wanted her forever and I always felt that fate brought us together and I was wrong. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and there is nothing I wouldn't have done for her and I was the best possible boyfriend I could be to her. Men need companionship so that is probably what the rebound and new girlfriend is. Men don't just fall out of love either, it seems women move on much faster.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you take him back how long would it be before he's confused again? In other words he wanted to get something different and now wants the stability of a relationship.

    He disrespected you!

    This guy needs to grow up, don't waste your time. Don't take him back, move on.

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  • it believe that it makes the heart grow fonder.

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  • It's not his choice. Make it your choice. You can't change him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder to begin with, but then out of sight, out of mind develops.

    You know, the exact same thing happened to me. I was with a guy for ages and we broke up. Literally two weeks later he was with another girl, then he contacted me saying how much he misses me etc. I had told him to sort his sh*t out before he comes to me saying those things. I didn't contact him at all, and he stayed with the girl. They're engaged now, and I am happy with how things turned out.

    If I were you I'd let things be. The fact that he's conflicted means he isn't decisive enough. You broke up for a reason, he didn't handle it maturely and now he doesn't know what he wants. Seems like he's a big ball of drama that you just don't need.

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  • Absence is important in any relationship. It's a good test but the outcome is unpredictable. It either gives the relationship strength or will make everyone realize they're better off. No one deserves to have their head messed with, give it time but don't be overly-invested in an unknown outcome.

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