Boyfriend and old girl friend?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. During that time I have gotten to know all of his friends and family very well. We love together and have been building a life together. The other night we got into a bit of an argument and out of the blue he tells me because of me he has cut off people in his life that mean something. I was totally taken off guard and a.bit baffled. I asked who? He told me his old best friend a girl by the name of Danielle. I had heard stories about her. They were martial arts friends for years in high school. However I have never met her in the years we have been together and from what I understand she only lives a half hour away. He was crying and everything saying how much he misses her.

Um...what? Where the heck did that come from? He says now she is his best friend in the whole world and he wants to rekindle a close relationship with her and her family. That her parents were like his own and he misses them all. I am so taken aback. I don't know what to think. She is single. Has been for years. I checked out her Facebook profile out of curiosity after our conversation.

So now I am not his best friend anymore. She is. And he wants her and her family back in his life. He wants to go to their house and have dinner like he used to and.hang out just the 2 of them. I am not saying I don't want him to have female friends. But the whole thing makes me feel weird to say the least. I don't hang out with single guys. Not alone anyway. And what am I supposed to do

...tag along while he goes to dinner at her families home? I have never even met these people and they haven't been a part of our lives all the years we have been dating. He is adamant though...she and her family will be a part of his life again. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • before panicking , have a discussion with him once you get your thoughts sorted out. does he see her just as a friend or as more than a friend? he also needs to sort out what exactly he wants as well. I would be a bit taken aback by a guy crying, why can't he just man up and see his friend? I don't exactly see the logic in his conversation here.

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    • I think he knew I would be a bit uncomfortable. He and I are very very close and have a close group of friends. After 4 years he wants to bring his single friend around again. And hang out just.them.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This was his inmature way of breaking up with you and hoping you'll just go away. Instead of revealing his needs and adult manner he cries out like a child having a tantrum. You should drop this guy from your life quick and be thankful this came up when it did. It may not feel easy, but the guy needs to do some growing up and can't handle a relationship.

    Trust me his relationship won't go far with his exgf as his memories from that are four years old.

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  • First of all, crying is not manly -- unless one of his close family members passed away or something similar. Secondly, for him to compare you to another woman like that is extremely inconsiderate and offensive. You have every right to be upset. If I were in your situation, I would walk, but I know that's not easy to do after four years.

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    • I am having a hard time accepting him rekindling a close friendship with a single woman who has never.been a part of our lives. And from what he told me her family is extremely protective over him and likely will still be when he rekindles these relationships so he felt I needed to know so I don't freak out over their behavior . He also told me he would like to go work part time at their martial arts school. So not only the friendship and dinners at the family home but also working.with her.

    • Whether he realizes it or not, he's disrespecting you by waving another woman in front of your face.

What Girls Said 1

  • Wow. I don't really have the advice you would be looking for, but I would agree that I would not feel comfortable with this at all.

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