Why is it that after a serious relationship ends, we just can't be friends afterward?

I was in my first serious relationship, where we were both really in love with each other and then after a couple of years it just fell apart. How come after being so in love and having so much respect for one another, neither of us can seem to be 'friends.'


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because once you move beyond the state of "friendship" and see each other in a different light, with physical and emotional attraction, every time you see that person it will be reopening wounds. It will remind you of what you miss (walks on the beach, tender kisses, etc) and it is hard to deal with the fact that you will not be experiencing them anymore. Once you cross the threshold from friendship to more, it is difficult to go back. Your heart will always want more and want it to be "like it was" when you were in love. Unless you fall in love with someone else and your heart is able to move on, it will probably be difficult to be "just friends" with that person.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah you can be friends. I'm friends with most of my ex's

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  • Just try it and see how difficult it is

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What Girls Said 4

  • Because there's always a chance those old feelings can arise. If he's not totally over you then I would expect it would be hard just to be your friend.

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  • the dynamic of your relationship is just such that friendship can't happen. once you have intense romantic feelings for someone, it's hard if not impossible to go back to just friendship.

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  • because of those feelings. they're always going to be in the way. that said, it doesn't mean you can't be good friends. it just means you can't be good friends right now. give it some time for the feelings to cool down

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  • If you can't be friends, then it means that someone of you is either terribly hurt or still have feelings for the other person.

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