Once a cheater always a cheater?

,i have bee dating dating my boss for a year and two months now.all is good (TG)this past summer I was told by his ex girlfriend also a past secretary of his, that he was seeing her when with his ex GF,he also dated another secretary from the building, he claims that he started seeing the first secretary when the relationship with his girlfriend was toward its last ropes.my mind is totally screwed up because of this,him and I know I need another job and now I am afraid that if and when I do get another job he will then start f***ing around with his new secretary .i don't know what to think anymore.i truly love him and he swears he feels the same but I don't want to sit and set myself up for a heart break .because she told me one story he told me another,but I believe hers because she has no reason to lie, he does ,and that reason being he doesn't want to look like an a**hole or to end the relationship ,so I don't know what to think anymore should I continue to see him ,and people please do not say it happened 15 years ago which it did,because if someone raped someone 20 years ago wouldn't he still be looked at as a rapist.or guys if you met a girl and she confessed she was once a hooker 20 years ago ,wouldn't your head wonder what she is capable of now,or what we like to say once a cheater always a cheater.its hypocritical to say that and then say it happened 15 years ago, I don't excuse it because of time passed because he is still walking around with the same brain that he did 15 years ago when he was capable of cheating ..please guys and girls give me some advice should i sit around and wait till he does it again or should I just leave him completely.thank you and your honest comments will be appreciated but your sarcastic ones if any won't be ..thank you


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Has he given you reason to think he would cheat on you? Has HE? Not, the other women.

    I do not think, once a cheater always a cheater..people change..and sometimes things happen that

    screw up someone's mindset on their current relationship. You shouldn't believe other women..they are conniving and evil who probably just don't want to see him happy. Why? Because they are probably mad it didn't work with them. I see ALL the time other girls telling my friends that their bf's will cheat because they cheated with their ex's but you cannot believe them.

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    • yeah , why not believe them ,there is a posibility right? if he did it to one he will probably do it to the next, right ...what ever DIDNT stop him from doing it then when it meant so much to plan a marriage ,that means it WONT STOP him now, and why are they lying when they say he will cheat bcs he did it them (the girls)they are telling the truth right? I hmyself have NO interest in my kids daughters dad,but I will tell anyone not to have his kids because he is deadbeat dad,and iwont be lying o

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    • ok now I understand your outlook on the situation,most of the time when people try to excuse it,its because they chosen to be in the same situation wether being the cheater or the one being cheated on,i am sorry but I feel as though the love and respect is not there if they hv the consciense to do that wo the person in mind,n forgiving is one thing accepting is the other and if you accept the first I believe they will do it again.but best of luck and happiness to you

    • thank you, and same for you. xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't really buy into "once a cheater, always a cheater", BUT I will say that once someone goes down that path, they are likely to do it again. You're right in that it's not important when it happened. What matters, though, is if he has matured and moved on from that lifestyle. If he hasn't, then you need to show him the door.

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  • There something known as, what's the word I'm looking for, oh it's called...mm ... maturing, that's it. Men change as their view on life change, not all men but most men. People do change, I'm 31 and a lot of the stuff I did to women 15 years ago I wouldn't dream of doing now. I'm saying he's not cheating, I'm just saying it's possible that he's not, people do change. Your time with him maybe different from theirs,I'm not saying let your gaurd down tho, be on gaurd with your feelings but don't assume the worst.

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    • im sorry but men try to get away with to much because of this matuarity thing, no if a girl sleeps around at 16 is she excused or will she be remembered as the HS hoe, YES? so it should go both ways..people shouldn't get away with bad actions just because of their age.its just an excuse,if you cheat you are a cheater, and that goes both ways F and M

    • who say's we are getting away with anything, I've cheated when I was younger but I had a daughter and ny views changed, I don't cheat anymore. Believe me I could, I have the chance all time. You are the one making an excuse for your not wanting to except your an accurate views

What Girls Said 1

  • honey you are just one more addition to his very long resume

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    • thanks for your honest comment, this is actually the way I see it too,what makes me different ,he was going to marry his ex Girlfriend for God's sake and starts f***ing his secretary once sh*t gets though ,wtf makes me different I believe he is just waiting for the next fresh thing to come along ..everyone saids to give him the benefit of the doubt but it was the other way around I would be a hoe,right ? why do men try to get away with everything ,should I just leave him

    • you alraedy know that answer, yes you should leave him

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