He is calling me his "freaky stalking ex girlfriend" now.

Well, me and my ex broke up in August and we've had no contact since then. I've sent him one text message (related to his business) and I waited outside his work once to ask him to take my to hospital (he ignored me and walked past me so I didn't ask) and I sent him an email the day I went to hospital.

A few nights ago, I accidentally signed into his Facebook account. (He's signed on my computer before, and my laptop is about to be refunded, the mouse doesn't work. The mouse spazzed out, and I ended up signing into 3 peoples!)

While I was on it I thought...well...while I'm here... and I admit I did read through his messages and stuff.

I think he's getting together with a friend of his. A friend of mine however, thinks that I'm overreacting, that it's just flirting. We'll see.

The OTHER thing is he refers to me to his friends as his "stalking ex-girlfriend" I know I'm not the best person in the world, but I don't stalk him... I will admit, shamefully, I have driven past his house a couple of times but that's because I miss him and I wasn't thinking straight. I'm forcing myself not to do it anymore, especially after discovering what he thinks of me...

Well, after reading the emails with his potential new girlfriend and another girl, I decided to return his stuff once and for all. I left it with a note that said:

"***,

I put this note in here because I assumed you wouldn't want to talk to me or that you wouldn't be home. If it's the first, I'm really sorry you feel like that.

I felt you should have you Xbox back. It's yours, not mine, and I feel bad I've had it all this time. It would be nice to grab the DVD's off you, but if you don't want to see me that's fine... I know you hate me and want me out of your life.

I'm really glad you've found someone new to make you happy

I'll probably never get a chance to say this to you again, bur... I still love you You're rolling your eyes thinking, great, here we go again, but I'm not going to act on those feelings. You've made it clear how you feel about me and you shouldn't be punished for my feelings.

Sorry I couldn't say it in person

Love ****** xXx"

Now, I thought that was OK... I got a chance to say what I needed to while getting some closure. He, however, is calling me his "freaky stalking ex girlfriend" now.

How can I change this situation? I would give anything for him to at least see me as a friend, I miss him like h-e-l-l and I don't want it like this anymore, has anyone been in a similar situation, what am I doing that's making him feel "stalked"

Btw, when he was discussing if I was talking him with his friend it was because I accidentally liked a wall post from his friend. I wouldn't of called that stalking? They call me pathetic and stuff behind my back, and I just think it's stupid.

Also, he still wears my guitar strap, my belt, things like that to gigs, things that I suggested he did. I do not get this, please someone help me, and sorry about the length...

Updates:
Couple comments I've put it on but, I saw my ex and his potential new girl as I was walking into town to meet my friend. I stopped in my tracks, turned, walked away and ran across the road. I gave myself a few minutes to get myself together again, and then I carried on. She spent the time looking back at me. They spent the whole afternoon together, but the only plus is they weren't holding hands... my friend thinks they're just flirting, but I think it's more? Any tips for me...?
Well, quick update, the two of them were just calling me pathetic, a bitch, a thing, etc etc. I promised I never would, but I've deleted him off Facebook and off MSN... It hurts like hell but everything happens for a reason, right? Thank you for the advice you gave me, you really did help me, and hey...I'm cutting contact, right?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He is probably getting an ego-stroke from calling you a stalker. He may dislike you or dislike any ex in general to act like this, thus his view of your actions is negative.

    Just stop trying to be friends with him at all. You are still grieving that you lost any kind of relationship with him and hate that it will end with him judging you as a stalker.

    I had an ex-best-friend who treated me like this when I was the one who broke up with her, she was the one contacting me and I never replied, and tried finding out how I was through my friends/family. I gave up all contact to even my friends and family so I can just get rid of her ha ha. I still deeply care and miss her, but if she treated me as a stalker or created lies when we were going through a rough patch to our mutual friends, try hard to move on. We were friends for 7 years and I think of her even after the year and 7 months of no contact, but what aches is the lack of closure and how things once was, not for who she is.

    I know I will and can still suffer even if we got back together to patch things up.

    Also the lies she told to our mutual friends, the truth eventually came out on it's own that she was CRAZY. The truth and your sincerity will be your advocate.

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    • I'm so sorry about that.. that sounds really awful, but, it's kinda made me feel better because you're the first person who can truly empathise with me.

      I think I'm going to have to... I'm just doing baby steps at the moment, it was awkward today cause I was going to town to meet a friend and he was walking towards me with his new potential girlfriend... I saw them, stopped in my tracks, turned, crossed the road and took a minute to compose myself. The whole time, she was watching.

      I know I ...

    • haven't acted the best way I could, but I think he is being a little unfair... A lot of this is wrong place wrong time. I can see why he'd think it but everyone I've spoken to have said "well, yes, you are a little in the wrong, but he's making it sound worse than it is"

      I would love more than anything to be with him once more, but he needs to grow up. Staying away from him is so hard, but, if it's what I need to do for me, my future, and possibly a future together I will. Iwishthingscouldchange

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like a very bad situation. Hang out with friends, find a hobby, unfriend him. remove everything that belongs to him or that reminds him of you. stop listening to music. Go out to different places, meet new people, distract yourself.

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    • It is.

      I am doing the majority of this - for instance today I was meeting an old old friend. Unfortunately, I ran into him while on the way, he was with his possible new girlfriend. I stopped, turned, crossed the road and composed myself, and she watched me. The only thing I haven't done is unfriend him, and I don't want to because well... I want him to see I'm living without him (even if it hurts)! I wish I could change it from this, do you think time will change it?

    • Show All
    • I have unfriended him now and taken him off my MSN buddy list... Hurts like hell

    • :( you'll feel better with time. I still find myself sometimes unconsciously typing my first crush's name.

What Girls Said 1

  • honestly...i think you shud leave things as they are. I know its hard, but everything you do he's gonna see it as you "stalking" him and make things worse..seems like he doesn't wanna see it any other way. You sent your message to him regarding how you felt...there's not much you can do about how he's gonna take it in.

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    • I really was trying for 3 months, and I didn't really do anything and yet I got this label of "stalker" because his friend said so basically...

      It really is hard, it's killing me being like this. But I haven't really got any other choice. If anyone else comes up with one, please say...!

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