Do you ever fully recover from your first relationship? One in which he/she treated you like crap?

I saw my ex for the first time in a year. We just passed each other. I'm glad he didn't say hi. It pretty much ended with no contact. All these negative feelings welled up inside of me, but I tried to focus on more important things in my life.

He kept doing rude, inconsiderate things during the relationship and I kept thinking I wasn't being a good enough girlfriend for him...until I realized I had no reason for getting treated like crap. I had been putting in too much effort and he was just using me for all I had. I'm still trying to get my old self, get my life back together. to stop crying at night and the nightmares.



He seemed fine. He probably has found another girl: he's the type that doesn't have a problem going from girl to girl, even though he seems like he's by himself. He made that pretty clear when he was with me.

On the other hand, I've lost 15 pounds, which on the plus side looks great, but on the negative side, you can tell that some of it was caused by stress. I fell into the stereotype of girl falling for a jerk, except he was really nice in the beginning and I invested so much that before I knew it, I had realized I've been treated like crap for almost a year. It was my first relationship so I was pretty naive. now I'm just plain cynical, deep down.

I'm doing a lot of self-loathing that I let myself have feelings for someone who was so rude, so horrible to me. It hurt so much. It still hurts.

He was the first guy I've met that I can hold a very long conversation with (and I'm the shy, introverted kind) and who was into me, and we had a lot of hobbies in common, so it meant a lot. I've tried meeting new people, but it's hard to keep up a conversation..., just like it always was before him.

I don't ever want the relationship I had with him, even if it means not finding anyone who I can keep a conversation with. Do you recover from your first relationship though? or does it feel feel crappy because I have not find someone who treats me at least kindly who 'loves' me.


0|0
43

Most Helpful Girl

  • Something similar happened to me too.i came to know that my boyfriend was dating another girl and I at the same time,imagine my friend telling me that,i got pissed off and decided to go to that girl my guy was dating and I asked her and she objected and then she goes like she was almost with him for one year and something and then she says she was almost with him,apparently,how can you be with someone for almost one year and something and then be like I was almost with him.Before jumping into any conclusion,i decided to ask my boyfriend and he went like why you threatening me?you always have negative thoughts and he dint feel like talking,We used to talk so much till late at night,but after he got me,he started to stay away from me,i really loved him but he treated me like crap.i just can't stand rubbish,i said to myself,i got pissed off and I dumped him,i told him that I already had my own guy(a white lie)and I told him lots of things that were untrue,i told him those lies because I was so pissed at that time.Once I saw him outside with his friends and he was like bitch!he started spreading fake rumours about me,he also told his new girlfriend that he f***ing hated me and they tease me about it and actually he told most of his friends and also that I was such a pain in the ass,and one of his friends is also spreading rumours about me in school.i actually ignored those rumours and just walked away.He was always sweet with me when he wanted me but after he got me he just did not care.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • mate here's the key..

    you've got some anger in you. some hate, you feel bitter, even betrayed by him in a way. he was rude, inconsiderate, not sweet, not nice to you etc.. now here's the secret:

    instead of hating him for those things, realize that those things he did are the reason why he is not the right guy for you. accept that he isn't good for you because of the way he was to you. then you'll be happier knowing that earlier than later. you deserve someone better. its that simple.

    when you move on with your life and meet other guys, you'll forget about him. shy girls also get bf's and get married..

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have no ill feelings to her, but regret staying in the relationship as long as I did. It had some negative impacts on me in terms of behavior I accepted in subsequent relationships.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes. It was six years ago. It took a few months, but I did fully recover.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I feel the same way. I seen my first boyfriend and I don't even speak to him because the way he treated me. I realized yesterday, I want another relationship but I am so afraid of getting hurt.

    I feel like I would never get over what he did to me. But I have no other choice. He was my first everything. I am so glad I did not give him my virginity.

    Good luck

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel like I am reading my own story. This is exactly what happened to me It has been six months and I have been trying to distract myself as much as possible. I have been getting a lot better, but you definitely have to work on getting better and be patient. The fact that I feel so much better tells me that there must be a day that you won't think about him anymore, but I can't say for sure yet.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, I did.

    Ofcourse I was terribly heart broken but the thing is I outgrown him by miles now. I learned from the experience and now I became wiser and more cautious.

    You can get over him pretty quick by distracting yourself and creating a life that's joyful. You should find happiness on your own. School, work, sports, friends, etc..help so much.

    Also, it gets better by time :)

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...