How about my ex-boyfriend's friend's behavior ?

After my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, he became good friends with some guy. And then this guy and I met when we were hanging out in the same club.. we saw each other a couple of times and then we kissed.. and he has slept over at my place for three times. And every time we talk about doing something together but he never suggests anything... and he says that he feels he can't do this to my ex. I told him that my ex has nothing to do with this and I actually asked him to do something together.. and then he did not respond. And then last weekend he texted me when he was drunk... Every time it's like that. It's so frustrating because my ex reallly hurt me and I haven't liked anyone ever since, except for his friend! Is there something I can do? Or should I just let it go...


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What Guys Said 2

  • Do you really have to decide to pursue him or let him go? I say since you like the company of this guy, you let it grow. Maybe he will end up with the same feelings, or maybe he wont. But If, at this moment, you feel good being with him, so be it. Enjoy that.

    Your friend right there is confused. People usually shed the facade when drunk, and the fact that he has been hanging out with you kinda hints that he is infact probably interested in you, but he has controlled himself to not end up hurting your ex in the process.

    But it sounds as if the wounds are fresh on all of you, so it doesn't seem like the best time to cause an abrupt transition. Allow time to go by, stop the anxieties and do what feels okay. Forcing anything to happen will cause guilt and hurt.

    Maybe you can later go to your ex and tell him that you have feelings for his friend when (and if) you are on speaking terms whenever that happens, and bring a conclusion to this situation. But right now, just let things sail and reach results on their own. Trying to make something happen if its not meant to be might end you up without a friend and/or a pissed of ex. Your boy may even lose the friend he had.

    I hope it sorts out, Good luck!

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  • I would say let it go. If he isn't comfortable with it, I don't think there is anything you can say to him to be comfortable with it, and if he wants to make it a serious relationship he should be able to talk to his friend no problem. So unless he does that I would count your loses.

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