I want to explain why we broke up to my ex-girlfriend. But I'm facing a conundrum.

I have bipolar so I was a pretty sad guy for most of my life and it also shaped me to be a very negative person. But one year in high school, I entered a manic state. I was just filled with unbelievable energy. I was getting A's in all my classes, not the easy classes. I purposely took hard classes in order to challenge my self. I was lifting weights and made phenomenal progress. I lost a very large portion of my body fat and gained 50 pounds in pure muscle. I also picked up boxing and running and was able to run a mile in just under 6 minutes. I did all this with very little sleep, 4-5 hours a day and sometimes I went 48 hours with no sleep and still did very well.

Then I met my girlfriend during my manic state. On top of doing all these things, I would do so many things for her. Ranging from small things to pretty extravagant things. I was always there for her and I would go to the train station every day to meet her when she was coming back from commuting to school. But then my manic state ended in the middle of it and I just became super depressed. I lost all my energy. I was so tired and needed 10 hours to be barely able to function. I missed 44 days of school in one semester. I stopped doing things for my girlfriend. I literally couldn't leave my room without making tremendous effort because it was that debilitating. She took it as a sign that I didn't love her anymore and she thought that she was the cause of my problems. At the time, I didn't know what was wrong with me so I couldn't explain. Our relationship slowly degraded until we both agreed to break-up.

I didn't know what was wrong with me while I was dating her. I went in one day to psychiatrist and counselors because one day my depression was so severe. They gave me some bupropion which is helping a lot. I can think with so much more clarity. I thought about our relationship and why it degraded the way it did and now I realize it.

Now she has a new boyfriend and I’m here still sad. I’m trying to let go but I always have this slight shimmer of hope in the back of my mind that she might come back to me. I’ve been trying really hard to let go but it’s hard because everything reminds me of her. I want to tell her my thoughts on the relationship and tell her that it wasn’t her fault. But still I feel it’s wrong to tell her this but I also feel it’s the only way I can finally let go because I don’t want things to end on a misunderstanding. But I also understand that if I tell her this it might cause some turmoil for her and her new boyfriend or it might affect her in her school. Just in case you are wondering, this was a serious relationship, it lasted a long time. It’s been several years and this is still affecting me. I don’t think it’s something I can just get over like that.

I don't want to potentially harm her if I did tell her this and yet at the same time it's ripping me apart. I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should show her exactly what you've written here. Print it out and hand it to her. She will definitely understand. I also feel that it would make her feel a lot better about everything. I can't say if she will go back to you, and she probably won't leave her current boyfriend, but if/when they break up, it will be more likely that she will see you as an option again.

    • I know but if I tell her it might cause problems maybe that is just confined within her or she might express it in some way to her current boyfriend and it might cause even more problems for her. I'm worried about what will happen if I tell her but still I want to tell her to finally get some closure and have a better chance of moving on.

    • Show All
    • I do want her back. But I understand that it's wrong. Maybe you're right. I'll call her after her midterms are over and ask if I can meet her.

      I think it' might be time to close this chapter of my life and move on, despite how hard it might be.

    • good luck :) :crosses fingers:

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Recommended myTakes