I acted needy with the man I love?

I acted needy with the man I love and it made him back up. Now I don't know if there's any chance I can get him back or if its too late.

What do you think ?

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Details if you care to read lol :

We've been seeing each other for some months getting closer and closer every time with insane chemistry. I always protected my heart with him because I know he's a busy man and wasn't sure if he wanted something serious. In the period we were seeing each other he once had to travel out of the country for his work for 2 months and I let him go and kept myself busy and when he came back our relationship was even stronger.

He started telling me more serious stuff, said he missed me so bad, we were then seeing each other all the time everyday and I could tell it was his heart speaking and then we were almost like a couple, he even gave me his house keys, but he warned me he had to leave again for work. At this point I was really letting my feelings show and had some of my stuff in his apartment...I almost lived there, everything went super fast..

Now I think that's the point were he maybe got scared of this going so fast because I was really not the independent girl anymore I was just deeply in love with him and I could not hide it. When he left I could not stop messaging him telling him I missed him etc. I think I could have done it too much because he is not calling me back and not telling me when he comes back and I know he is still around and he gets my messages.

Now I'm scared I ruined it all by being the needy girl and not the busy girl he fell in love with.. I want to know what you guys think it will be when he's back, and if I ruined everything ?

For now I just stopped calling him and try to keep my mind busy...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Keys are serious business. You don't just give anyone your keys. It sounds like you're a serious girlfriend. He should call you at least every other day. And the relationship is too serious to end with a blow off anyway. At this point he owes you a break up conversation. Of course he might not want to do that over the phone because you have keys to his apartment.

    I wouldn't message him anymore. My advice is that you stop calling him, and wait and see if he calls you. If and when he does, don't talk to him for too long; you have lots of exciting things going on in your life and you don't have time to talk to him for hours.

    If he doesn't call you within a week, call him. If he doesn't answer, leave a really sweet and laid back message asking his permission to go to his apartment and pick up your stuff. Say that you need something and you'r just going to get the rest while you're over there because it's weird not having access to your things. Be really sweet so that he doesn't think you're pouting or trying to show him that if he doesn't straighten up you'll be gone and he'll be sorry. What you're trying to do is show him that you are willing to take a big step backward.

    I don't know where he is, but he's probably really busy, and when he's not working he's probably trying to enjoy himself while he's out of the country. He might not know when he's getting back. And yes you were probably bothering him. No guy likes to be harassed by his girl when he's trying to do other stuff. Girls don't like it either. Just lay off of him and give him space.

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    • Thanks for this honest answer I think it helps me to see what could be happening as right now I feel like I'm blinded by all sorts of emotions.

      I was actually about to go for the "trying to show him that if he doesn't straighten up you'll be gone and he'll be sorry" but now I realize it would probably be a major mistake.

      I will just relax now and see what happens.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Write out what you want to say to him first just to get your feelings of want out.

    Then, try to send messages every 2 to 3 days, just saying, "Thinking about you." or "Hope you're doing well."

    If he doesn't respond at all, then start to protect your heart again and detach a bit. Start to rely on yourself again.

    You did not ruin everything. Displaying your affection and desire for him is not needy. If you went from seeing each other everyday to messaging every day, that's not scary.

    You are you and will always be you. I think you desire inter-dependence, not co-dependence and you realize that you may have gone too far into wanting him.

    You will figure this out and both of you will be happier.

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    • thank you so much it makes me feel a lot better

  • If you act needy, there's very little you can do to fix it except prove that you aren't needy by demonstrating with a new partner. (Which defeats the purpose). There's not much to do now besides continue without contact and wait for his reaction or lack of reaction.

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  • Leave him alone for the rest of his time away and then message him saying "welcome home" and nothing else. As to whether or not it can be saved, that depends on how long you've been seeing each other, how intense you were with him, and why you became so intense.

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  • Hmmmmm...I had a girl in the same zone as you are now. She was in the exact same predicament. I say it's not too late. I think that maybe you need to have a small cooldown period. Try just laying low for a week or so, to show him that you can survive without him: that means no texts or calls unless you get them first. After all, one or two "miss you" texts are cute. Three or more is getting annoying. Five or more is getting desperate.

    If you give him the time off and it still doesn't work, try sitting down with him over coffee and ask him what is on his mind. You might be surprised; many men take troubles outside their relationships and accidentally channel them into their relationships.

    If that still doesn't work, there might be something else going on. I hate to be a pessimist, but that's often the sign of a guy cheating if it "isn't for any reason" according to him. Or he might be just getting disinterested. Either way, there's plenty of other guys out there for a nice, sweet, loving girl like you. And yes, this is coming from a 16 year old.

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  • Yeah, just chill for now, wait it out and you should be fine.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Why are you blaming yourself, sounds to me like he's the one with the problem, a good healthy relationship is suppose to grow, sounds like you're growing closer meanwhile he's growing further apart, he is the one moving in the wrong direction, I don't know why us women always quick to blame ourselves.

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  • be the bust girl again? maybe you were happier then and more independent, guys like independent confident girls, I don't know I think its this generation... before it was a good thing to have a girl smitten for you now its like ew get off me, I need to go to work. ahaha idk. I think that women are becoming men and we are all just focused on being worhher bees with no time for love, yes I am ranting again and this is because I am in the EXACT same situation, my guy liked me when I didn't give a sh*t about him; partied, flirted with other guys, worked, have tons of friends and would blow him off on dates, he literally chased after me for a year, now I have fallen for him and he's run away. ughhh

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  • If you actually love thia guy then you have to be the person he fell in love with the more confident you is what he wmas to see because he travels and he needs a strong peraon to come back to ita hars it might take time but if you fight for it I believe it can be possiable jist dot nag him but messging a lot just go to his place take a card amd if he dosemt open the door leave yue card there do something differemt to get his attenion go back the next day chexk if the card it atill there maybe evem leave anothet card .. Or a lettet but don't give up until you have hope .. Its all you need .. If you wanna talk you can message me ( :

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  • i think what you're doing now, keeping busy until he comes back, is the best idea. Don't text him until he texts you, and don't take anyones advice to strongly on how he feels and why he acted that way, cos no one knows but him and even he might be confused. Wait it out and be more conscious, it could be something totally different that he's been acting like that.

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  • A relationship shouldn't be one sided like that. If you want to fall in love with a man it should be with a guy who reciprocates your emotional connection or whatever it is you bring. It isn't fair to you if it's any other way

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  • I think you made the best possible decision! How did it turn out for you?

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