Can't move on as life goes on

So me and this girl were in a relationship for a year. Our relationship was... not that good at the moment and wasn't for maybe a month or 2 before our 1 year. I'm the jealous type so when a guy would talk to her I would get defensive and sometimes say mean things to her which in all honestly I never wanted to say to her. It was just my madness thinking and not I. And we didn't go to the same school so the only times we would be able to see each other was to hangout after school, and it kind of bothered me that I didn't get to see her as much as everyone else. So I wanted to hangout with her more than usual, to make up for the time not seeing each other. You can call me clingy.. But she said she didn't mind it. But I guess the same thing just got boring after awhile. We would just stay at my house and watch movies. We would sometimes go out but not that often. Man, I thought I had it set with her... Everything was perfect to me it felt like. She said she was happy, if she was happy than I was the happiest man alive. I know we would get in fights sometimes but it didn't really bother me because I loved her so much that no matter how big of a fight we got in I would always love her. One time we got into a fight and she slapped me. It didn't bother me at all because I know she didn't mean it, and I also diserved it. This girl has been there for me through thick and thin and has helped me out so much. I don't know who I'd be without her. My mind, my heart tell me she's the one for me... It's been 7 months since we broke up... She has dated some other people and so have I. But I had to end the relationships I had because I felt it was unfair to date someone while your still in love with someone else. I don't find anyone else as attractive as her. Her eyes and her smile could make anyone feel loved. After we broke up I've tried to get her back. I tried talking to her. I rode my longboard to her house to drop her off a note and flowers. I won her a teddy bear at a concert, I've tried everything... She just says she dosn't have the same feelings for me anymore and we wern't a good couple... I really ran out of idea's here... I know I don't need her. But this kind of love that I have for her... I know it only comes once in a lifetime. That I can feel. And I don't want that to go to waste... Please help.


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  • Please hear me out! Just keep reading and at the end make your judgement!

    if she was being nice about you being clingy , she is merely being SUPER nice and non controlling about the way YOU act in a relationship. When a relationship is described as "not that good" its usually not something that lasts too long, and if it does, it will be a not too good relationship for as long as it lasts. Do you really want to be with a girl that left you? because when you guys get back together, the "im not good enough for her" will be in the back of you head ALL THE TIME. thus, you'll be extra jealous. I'm sure she was not happy with your bad mouthing her, I don't think you'd like to be told off by a person who loves you. If you DESERVE a slap, she was not 'having it' and you sir, pissed her off pretty hard, if a girl is in a happy relationship, she WILL NOT slap the guy she is with, she will try to solve thing out by talking or yelling but not slapping [depending on the way she was raised and age or w/e] also, with you though thick and thin? in ONE year? it makes sense that if you've had her as a friend long before that, so if that's the case: she was not with you through those things AS YOUR girlfriend, which is completely different.

    with out her, you would be a free guy, not getting into fights or getting slapped. You would be able to date around and meet girls that would give you a vision of a 'perfect' relationship. YOU would be a bachelor, going out with you friends, doing things that interest YOU and not spending time, money, or effort on a girl that does not appreciate you. WHO GIVES A SH*T about all the 'bad' things you have done in life, you have the right to be appreciated and treated with love, just as you should appreciate and love who ever the hell is with you.

    She obviously doesn't feel its unfair to date around, you can love her all you want and still date other girls. You might not get her off your mind, but along that way you might meet someone that is WAY better than her [ she's out there somewhere!] also,a note and flowers help, but you are the one that is supposed to SHOW change. thing includes, having a better understanding of what SHE wants in life what SHE likes and doesn't what she is trying to find with someone other than you. maybe she is looking for someone that ...idk. thing is there is something you could not give her, and you need to try to figure that out on your own.

    not sending others to figure your sh*t out for you, if you love her go and get her. but once you UNDERSTAND what SHE WANTS! maybe she will come back around

    i recommend that you date around, and let her date around, BUT figure out what it is she wants! [NOTE: DON'T BUG HER {txt,call,message, ect. she needs time to clear her mind} BECAUSE SHE MIGHT NOT WANT TO CONSIDER YOU ANYMORE]

    i really hope things work out for you,

    Anonymous User [36-45 is NOT OLD btw! long road ahead of you, don't give up]



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  • What you need in your life is someone who you don't get jealous of and a more stable girlfriend and you have to become more stable yourself. Sorry, my longer answer got deleted. Basically you are not really in love with this girl more like infatuated because as you said yourself you don't need her, and you are dating other people, and she has already moved on. That feeling that you got from her can be applied to anybody else - she may have awoken in you these feelings but that doesn't mean she has to be the one to receive them. A lot of girls in this world need love so go find yours! Gl :)

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