Going through with the break-up seems impossible

I have been in a relationship for a little over two years. My girlfriend is what I would call the better person in the relationship. She has always loved me like crazy and supported me through everything. She is the most faithful and honest partner you can imagine, the type of girl that will make a truly great wife.

With that said, I am 22 and she is 23, and we are different in a very important way: she is mature enough to be in a relationship that will lead to marriage, and I am very immature and don't want to believe my "youth" is over, and by that I mean the freedom of being single and having experiences and opportunities. I can't believe that it's over already. We got together when I was 20 and I never imagined that I would never be with anyone else after 20. I could definitely see myself married to her, but it all feels like we met at the wrong time. I wanted to keep this kind of serious relationships for my mid to late 20s when I'd feel ready and like I had experienced life on my own enough.

No matter how much I love her, no matter how much I care for her and appreciate all the little and big things she does for me, I had to come to the realization that it is a serious relationship and has been two years already and if I have this kind of fears and doubts, and that even after talking about them several times, they never go away, we need to part ways.

We "broke up" last week-end, but we are international students in America and she had decided, after the break-up, to go back to Japan for a year this December, so we decided to stay together until then and break up at the airport.

I know this is extremely painful, disappointing and unfair to her to go through this, and for some reason, going through the break-up idea seems impossible. She will most likely, after all, come back after the holidays and finish her studies here. I can't bear seeing this woman I love so much and who has done so much for me get hurt because I'm not ready yet and I have doubts and uncertainties about the future. It just seems so painful and unfair, it's very hard to watch as I'm doing this to someone I deeply care about and I love.

Can anyone relate to this feeling and give me some thoughts on this? I know break-ups are hard, but sometimes you feel like an idiot and an a**hole making a huge mistake and it's hard to go through a break-up feeling this way about what I'm doing, even though I know I need space from committed relationships for a while.
Going through with the break-up seems impossible
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