Should I ask his ex to leave him alone?

I have been dating this guy for two months now. We live in the same building so we ended up exchanging keys already. We have spent every day and night together and things have been good. I knew he still talked to his ex, but he assured me that I had nothing to worry about and she chose to be with her long time boyfriend. I realized after a while he wasn't over her. He thinks cause she keeps in touch with him that she still wants him. She left him over a year ago but continued to see him behind her boyfriends back. She made him move where she wanted him to and switch jobs 6 months ago. He hates the apt and the job but did it because she said she'd go back to him.

I'm not sure if she has feelings for him or she just likes having control over him. He did admit to me that the week before we started dating he gave her a chance to change things and she decided to stay with her boyfriend. Then she got pissed when he gave me his key. He can't ignore anyone but he did try to break contact with her but two weeks later she texted him.

s*** hit the fan the other day when she told him she is getting married. He took back his key, gave me mine and asked that we slow things down. He admitted it was because of her and I could see how hurt he was. He also said he thought I’d leave him for the same reasons she did. Yes, I'm mad at him but I also feel bad because I've been in that situation too: Hung up on a ex who was with someone else but still stayed in touch giving me false hope.

I believe him when he says he wants us to slow it down, because I think things did move too fast. But I worry that he still isn’t over her. I know I couldn’t get over my ex until he gave me the space I needed and left me completely alone.

I think it will never work until he gets over her, so I was thinking of sending her a message on Facebook. I want to keep it simple and ask her that if she wants to be with him then she should leave her boyfriend and be with him. But if she doesn’t want to be with him, she needs to leave him alone and give him the space he needs because he can’t look at her as only a friend right now. After she leaves him alone, he can make the choice if and when he’s ready to be friends. She can tell him I sent the message if she wants to but if she really cares about him she’ll either go back to him or leave him alone.

I really do want things to work out with him. I know there’s a chance this can blow up in my face but if I don’t do something I feel this relationship can’t work. I’d be fooling myself to wait around for him to get over her when she won’t leave him alone.

So, should I email her or not? Guys, what would your reaction be if your girlfriend did this? Girls, have you done this before? How did it work out?

Should I ask his ex to leave him alone?
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