Boyfriend texting this girl, should I worry?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years, we've been living together for the past year.We have no problems living together, or no problems in general except my insecurities.

I'm so insecure and jealous because it's a problem I have within myself that I need to work on.

My boyfriend is very honest now. (he did cheat in the past but we broke up because he felt he needed to get his life together.) now that his life is together, has a job, bought an apartment, back in school, he's completely different. the way he talks to people, his whole persona is new and improved.

now he if he goes out with the guys he'll come home and tell me about how he saw an ex-girlfriend there, or how a girl he had sex with in the past tried talking to him. he's very honest about stuff about other women without me asking. (like the examples shown above)

Last night he was texting. I was curious to see who it was after he had stopped texting (my insecurities make me curious)

he hande me his phone so I could order pizza,

before I dialed the number I looked at his texts and he was texting a girl. this is the conversation:

boyfriend: what time are you off tonight

girl: I'm already off! I got off early because they had a cancellation :/

boyfriend: oh sh*t are you still trying to go out tonight

girl: I'm already in bed! and it's so cold! but we do need to kick it

boyfriend: ha ha OK just hit me up when your free

girl: will do! have a good night :)

-my boyfriend didn't reply after that-

I mean, he left it in his inbox and didn't immediately delete the conversation,

and he knows I look through his phone here and there but doesn't mind because he says he has nothing to hide. this morning I was texting and he asked me "oh who are you texting" because I smiled when I received a text and I said "no one I don't ask you who you're texting" then he said

"you can go through my phone right now and look it, it's all out there in the open for you."

last night he went out with his friends and when he got home and went to bed I checked his phone and he still had not deleted that conversation with that girl. and he was texting me while he was out so I know he saw he still had her in his inbox.

should I worry over his text with this girl and how he hit her up to hangout?

or am I being crazy? he hasn't deleted the conversation, and I would think he would delete it knowing how jealous I get and that I would start a fight over it...

I am going to talk to him about it, but I just want some opinions on the situation before I do

thank you for your time


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Invasion of privacy, if you were my girlfriend, and I found out you went through my messages, I would immediately break up with you...and not look's not something I tolerate

    • Trust me, and I know it's wrong. I hate it. I hate my insecurities. It is something I need to work on, I know this. I'm just so terrified. I just really want an opinon on if I should worry about him and that girl and wanting to hangout with her, that's all. It's not something I'm proud of being like this. I hate it but it's so hard for me to let my gaurd down because I'm scared that as soon as I do, something is going to happen

    • Show All
    • understandable. I know it's invasion of privacy, which isn't right. but it doesn't take away how I feel, especially because of how he used to be in our past. should I worry about this situation? please I just want an opinon on my question, not a reminder of my issues I need to work on lol

    • i'm giving you my opinion

What Girls Said 1

  • In all honesty I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and have a lot of insecurities and jealousy but I have changed so it won't bug me anymore. I honestly just think he is trying to make a friend. Nothing in that conversation implies more then a friend. And the fact that he didn't delete it is a good thing because it shows that he is not hiding it. I think you're good to go! He isn't cheating or anything. he seems very committed. Maybe he just wanted to hangout with another female lol.

    • thank you so much for answering this. when I saw that conversation it made me sick to my stomach. I felt like I was going to throw up because how scared I am to get my heart broken again. every guy has broke my heart. I'm pretty messed up from it, so little things like this hurt me so bad because I automatically think the worse. thank you

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