What is he trying to get out of me?

I've been getting with this guy for about 3 months now. It started out weird because he was still hooking up with his ex and she didn't like me so it was kind of an on and off thing. I told him if he was just going to get back together with her eventually that I couldn't talk to him anymore to save myself from forming more feelings for him. In that same conversation he told me he was just trying to have fun but that he really liked me and two days later ended everything with her. I was really surprised but just thought he did that so he could hook up with more girls. We started seeing each other a lot more and he started actually taking me out on dates. On the week of Thanksgiving I saw him almost everyday and he was doing too many "boyfriend-like" things. He sent me a Thanksgiving text saying he was thankful that he met me and that I'm truly a beautiful person...It's just really confusing trying to understand what he wants from me because he treats me like his girlfriend but told me he doesn't want anything serious..and I don't want to bring up the subject because he just ended things about a month ago with his ex.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask him what he wants, but more importantly work out what you want and tell him. What do you really want?

    You've let him get to know you, it sounds like it's growing into something you both want. And hopefully he will have worked out if he thinks you're the girlfriend he wants right now. Ask him does he want a exlclusing relationship with you or does he still want "fun"? Sounds like he is saying that he likes you, this is fun, but someday I might just be gone, OK, cool. Is that what he means?

    Or maybe as he has gotten to know you he has fallen for you.

    You are on here asking because you're aware that you're at that crossroads: does he still want "fun", or is he ready to be just the two of you.

    Talk with him. If he says "fun" then are you happy with that? If not then tell him. It's a two way thing, this is not just about you serving his happiness. It has to be good for you too.

    If he says he wants you both to boyfriend+girlfriend then that's great. But you won't know until you chat!

    If a guy thinks he can mess you about, well, what would you think about a guy who you could mess about? You can't let people mess you about. I'd tell him he's had enough "fun time" but if he wants to stick with you then it's going to be just you. If he doesn't want to stop "having fun" then tell him that you can have too, not just him!

    Also, is he the greatest guy you know?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Ok. Stop pointing the gun at your foot. Put it on the table and listen. You told a guy what you wanted. And you expressed reservations about the two of you because of him other relationship. He got it all resolved and is focusing on you. So I guess the answer is: He is trying to get you out of you. so if you want a relationship with this guy. Let him have you. He said he doesn't want anything serious. But he just got serious on you. So I would say see where it goes. make sure he's not sleeping around. But let it be casual. If your OK with that.


What Girls Said 1

  • Ehh.. I feel like since he and his ex just broke it off he hasn't really fell into the "i'm single" mindset, and so its just natural to start acting that way towards someone else you already have feelings for. I'm KINDA saying you're a rebound, but not really, because I think that in a lot of rebound situations, real feelings are actually there as well. He might have just said it weird. some people won't enter in another relationship just because they think that they haven't waited the appropriate amount of time (not something I believe in) even if they already really really like someone.