Really Need Some Help!!! What is he thinking?

My ex boyfriend and I dated for close to two years with most of it being long distance 3 hours away because he goes to college and we broke up about 3 months ago. When we first broke up, we had sex twice, the second time being very regretful to the point where I told him I wanted no contact for awhile and deleted him off of my Facebook. We just got back to talking and I saw him last night. We ended up having sex again but this time we were both happy and comfortable with one another. The reason we broke up was because I was his first girlfriend and he was curious about what it's like to date other girls. He told me last night that he misses being in a relationship and he thinks he will be alone for a long time because he is so shy. He said he was jealous of me because I can talk to people so easily and that the thought of me being with another guy makes him upset. He started crying because he feels very bad for bringing all of this up to me. He didn't exactly say that he wanted to get back together but I am really wondering what he is thinking. I could really use some advice. Thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Am I the only one concerned about his motivations for suddenly coming back and trying to re-establish things?

    My concern would be, does he want to be with me because he feels as though he can't meet other people or does he want to be with me because I'm the person he feels like he should be with.

    I think you two should frankly continue to be broken up. Let him explore the world that he said he wanted to explore when he broke up with you (because my feelign is 3months is long enough time to start feeling lonely but not long enough for the self discovery he claimed was his reason for breaking up). You don't want to get back together with him, only to have him turn around in 3 months and say the same thing "I want to see what it's like dating other girls" which is basically like saying. I really love your cakes, but I want to taste other girl's cakes to see if I like theirs better.

    that is just my opinion though. If you were to take him back it would have to be with the understanding that he can't repeat past mistakes and if he did that should be a wrap for him


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What Guys Said 4

  • "He started crying because he feels very bad for bringing all of this up to me"

    That is actually a big thing (depends a lot of his personallity but, if he's shy and it's kinda hard to make him cry, than that's a really big sine that he might have some feelings for you)

    I know what feels like being among a lot of friend and at some point they are all with they boyfriend/girlfriend and you're just starring and wanting to run away. I am a bit shy too among girls (if I want something further than friendship, otherwise I just talk and talk and talk...) and it is quite frustrating sometimes to be that person, you feel really bad about it and just want to have a date...

    At the first time, I do beleave that all he wanted was to try and see how is it to be with someone else. But from your last words, I guess you should give him a second opportunity. not to erase what he have might done (used you) since he might loved you the same way he does now. I guess you talked about it with him already so it will be fine.

    If you feel comfortable around him, then there is no reason to give it a shot if you love him of course. Good luck for both of you :)

    I hope it starts with no ending cause a true love never ends ;)

  • when last night you had sex.. who initiated it..

    if you initiated it thn get along with him from the start and mk sure he really needs you..and its jst not for sex..

    if he initiated it... ask him wht he wants and make it clear to him that you dnt want to get physical..

    and get in a relation check for 2 months.. what his intentions are and then choose to be in a relation with him or not.

  • Hmm, I think he's the shy type because he can't talk to people easily. Also, I think he really wants to be back to you. Give him one last chance.

    • Yes but how would that help with the curiosity of wanting to date other people? I mean, I don't want to have to go back through everything again because the issue wasn't resolve (although, I'm not sure how It can be resolved)..

    • If he keeps on confusing and giving you mixed signals and makes you feel uncomfortable, then drop him off.

    • Ok, thank you very much for your help. :)

  • Long distance can strain feelings because there is no interpersonal contact. It's easy to lose feelings like that and doubt intentions and the other partners interests as whole. You can't have sex after you break up because that still allows you to hold intimacy and a certain emotional attachment. I'd ask him to just have a conversation with you and narrow this down.


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