I've been dating this guy for only half a year, and I knew his ex who dumped him 2 years ago is a korean model the first day I met him. They have been together for 3 years before.
He love to talk about his adopted Korean mom and her daughter who's also one of his best friends.And other things he love to talk about many are about Korean stuff. So I was just thinking OK this guy might be a Korean-want-to-be, it's fine with me, I watch Korean drama as well.
It was months later I found out that this best friend and the 3 years ex girlfriend is the same person!
He always say that I look like her, and have almost the same experience, been a model, worked in drama field, both tall and boyish...All those are among things I count on to make me feel a little bit of uniqueness. And I feel she's better than me in everything of those. However when I ask him am I a succedaneum he convinced me that I'm no way like her in personality and he is no longer the person he was 5 years ago things are totally different no matter how alike we are.
I don't mind he has a past, I don't mind his ex is prettier, but what I can't get over is he still see her as a family, they even share the same mom:( I just feel like she rather than me is the person will be with him the whole lifetime, like if someday we broke up, he would find her to talk about me and forget me soon as time pass by, but she is the one who is still and always will be there! Otherwise, I married him, and I have to call his ex-girlfriend sister...really?!
Another problem is, it was SHE dumped him, so is that possible that he still adore her. Additionally, this guy is such a Korean fan, so is that she is the dream girl and I'm the "reality". I'm so sad if this is the scenario. Now even when I see any korean film star I will think about her and start to struggle with my jealousy and anxiety.
I though this would no longer bother me since we had a long talk last time. But How can I stop thinking about her and their past whenever I see something have a even just little bit relation with her. I thought about get to know her, make friends with her. I met her once, actually she's a good girl and I quite like her. I'm just feel so uncomfortable that it feels like I pick up something she didn't want, with her showing off her victory only by hang around the whole time as long as I'm with him.
Help! I know I can't change any of them, I can't stop them from seeing each other, I just don't like myself think like this.So anyone please, stop me, I've had it enough:(
Most Helpful Guy
I not only find this unacceptable, I find it utterly disgusting. I think he suffers from Woody Allen Syndrome. If he felt compelled to date his sister and still dotes on her as a best friend he obviously has some serious issues. True this is his past, but the mere fact that he compares you to her may be a red flag that still is a possibility that he is not over his sister/best friend. There's nothing wrong with admiring Korean culture. I myself admire many Asian cultures, but it shouldn't be an obsession. I think you deserve a better relationship than that and he needs counseling before he can be deemed stable enough to sustain a healthy relationship.1
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