He is ignoring all of my calls. Why?

Ok, so long story short, There is this guy who I met about six months ago, and he asked for my number, took me out, etc. etc. Nothing ever happened though, we just remained friends even though he called me every day and paid for me when we went out. The thing is that he lives 45 minutes away from me, works 2 jobs and goes to school at the same time. So he is always busy (but his jobs and his school is in the same city as mine, so he is always here).

I recently got mad at him because he started blowing me off big time. I told him that I was mad not because he is busy now, but because he blows off the few plans that we do make at the very last minute. I'd told him like three times how that makes me feel when one night he said "Let me come over tonight so that you can see that I can make an effort" only for him never to show up. So I wrote him a very strongly worded email telling him how mad I was and I also told him how much I really really like him and had started developing feelings for him. The next morning I realized I should have talked to him in person and not sent that e-mail, so a few days later I left him a voice mail just apologizing for the way I said it. he replied saying "don't worry! I don't want you to worry. But it is true, I prefer it when people tell me things like this face to face and not through email. We'll meet to talk about it soon. Please know that I respect you and that I really want to continue being friends :)"

After that we met twice, talked about it, and although we decided to just remain friends everything seemed to go completely back to normal. no awkwardness or anything. The last time I saw him, he called because he wanted to go out. we went clubbing and although he was waaay more distant than other times we've gone clubbing together we still danced together and had a good time (or so I thought).

After that night he has not returned any of my calls or texts. It has been a week. What happened?!


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What Guys Said 2

  • well first off you mentioned he is busy. so since you guys aren't boyfriend/girlfriend he probably doesn't see the urgency of getting back to you.

    But generally speaking it sounds like he is simply unreliable. Even when he has the best of intentions (i.e. coming to see you so he can show he can make the effort and then bailing) he is unable to be reliable. for some people keeping their word is just something they can't do. It isn't that they don't want to but more than they can't. Recently I read an article in the monthly psychiatric journal about this and basically it comes down to issues within the person that are often a bit beyond their control, in the sense that they are neurologically unable to keep up with their comittments

    The reasons could vary why he is so unreliable but it sounds like whatever the reason it is his nature to not be reliable regarding relationships with people

  • He lost interest in you, so he's treating you just as a close friend.

    • I agree with this, but even close friends deserve to be treated with respect enough to return calls or keep up with commitments

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