Is there another chance for me with my ex?

My ex and I were each others' firsts, dated for a year and a half before he broke up with me because we fought a little. We were extremely close and neither of us planned on breaking up with each other. It happened very suddenly and it's obviously shaken us both up.

Now he's had a new girlfriend for two months (she's had 6 one-month relationships and is "bisexual" so she can do whatever she wants, spoiled sick too) who's OBSESSED with how I see her. She's basically trying to make herself appear good by playing victim and copying my ex's personality. My ex has gotten into a fight with both his girlfriend and her best friend already. None of his friends like her and he's frustrated because they are telling him to break up with her.

My ex wanted me to be his best friend, but right now he doesn't know. He said I need to "recover" and that "I'm kinda torn apart because she was my first but she's really scared me over the past few months" (pasted from a text) He has me blocked on most sites, however I don't have him blocked. He does watch my activity feeds and goes onto my pages daily to check my comments. He said he won't befriend me again until I "show" him that I can be his friend...

He says he still cares deeply about me and that he watches over me, but he says he wants me to " stop thinking there's some sort of chance, even remotely, that I will consider getting with her again", which is weird because he's mentioned this many, many times at random... I said a few negative things about him, which caused him to get pissed and I apologized, but he also said more mean things than I did.

He said that even though he's my ex, he still loves me as a best friend (platonic) and he will kick anybody's @ss who hurts me.

I still do love him a lot, he's been my best friend for 3 years, but I keep everything platonic with him. I don't see how he's possibly jumping to conclusions like this. All I've done is offered him a second chance and told him I'll always be there for him... He thinks he has changed for the better when really nothing good has happened.

Recently he's been in a confused, distraught manner. He THINKS he's doing the right thing, but isn't so sure anymore, and has become too paranoid to trust anyone else when it comes to criticism. He's never been like this before. His girlfriend has been a miserable wreck and keeps going to him to cry to.

1. How do I show him that I want to be his friend again?

2. Does it sound like he will come back?

3. Is there really another chance for me?

4. Will his new girlfriend last long?

5. Is this all because he's scared of his feelings?

Please, PLEASE don't say "move on" either, I refuse to. And please don't give me a one-worded answer.



Most Helpful Girl

  • Answers to questions:

    1. You show him you want to be his friend, by treating him like a friend. Which means, you give him space when he asks, and you SUPPORT him in whatever he choses. Which, in this case, may be to date another woman. You also don't disrespect his romantic relationship by bringing up the topic of the two of you dating.

    2. No

    3. Yes, let him be. GIVE HIM SPACE. He cannot miss you if you are never gone. DON'T sabotage his relationship, act jealous or crazy or any of that BS. When you see them, SMILE at her, be nice, he will gain more respect for you than you may know.

    4. Hard to say, your opinion is the only one I have, and you're a bit biased (understandably)

    5. I don't think 'scared of feelings' or 'afraid of commitment' are real. He's doing what he wants to do, which is date someone else. He is telling you how he feels, and he feels that he doesn't wnt you to get your hopes up about the two of you. I think it sounds like he knows how he feels.

    Overall, I think it sounds like it's over. He's blocked you on websites. You don't break up after a year and a half because you faught 'a little'. There was obviously some sort of problem that could not be resolved and kept resurfacing. Of course you didn't plan on breaking up, who does? If we did, we wouldn't date the person in the first place, right? You've pointed out all of the 'bad' qualities of the current girlfriend out of jealousy. She has what once belonged to you, and you thought would always be yours, that hurts. No one wants to believe that they can be replaced, or that someone else might be a better fit for the ex. If I were you, I would stop contacting him. Let him wonder what you are doing, let him miss you, let him contact you if he wants to. Guys do what they want to, bottom line. If he wanted to be with you, then he would be.

    • Thanks! I don't know what I can really do at this point to make him want me... ^_^;

      The new girlfriend really isn't anything like me. She's one of "those" girls who can't manage a straight relationship and toy around a lot. That, and (from talking to her) they don't have anything in common. She's faking more personalities.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • give him some space , try to be calm and wise and you guys can be together . by the way what did you write that he mentioned in scared me

    • I honestly don't know what I wrote that "scared" him. Although I have horrible memory, I know that he's said awful things about me, but I think I had said that he wasn't treating me fairly.

What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like a lovely situation. Move on.

    • Here's the thing- I can't. I've tried maybe once or twice, but it makes me far too depressed. He and I have been best friends for a long time and I can't loose my soul mate. He's not letting me get away either...

  • Hi!

    1. Why do you still want to be his friend? According to your question he is NOT NICE, and he DOES NOT trust you. That's why you don't have access to his profiles. He's clearly NOT INTERESTED in being your friend anymore.

    2. IF he comes back, it will be because his bisexual girlfriend dumped him and he's needing someone to comfort him, not because he actually wants you back.

    3. There is another chance for you, with a BETTER GUY!

    4. Don't blame the bisexual girlfriend for his behavior , HE is the one who doesn't respect you.

    5. Stop making excuses for him. If a man likes you, he treats you well.

    There's no such thing as "platonic best friends". Or you are best friends or you're not. It's not love is friendship.

    Start caring about yourself and let your ex take care of his own problems. And he does not deserve access to your profiles.

    Be honest to yourself, you don't want us to tell you to move on because you know you should do it.

    I'm sorry if my answer is harsh, is just that you deserve better treatment that the one you're receiving from your "best friend". May I remind you that friends should make each other feel good?

    Hope you make the best choice.

    • Thanks.

      I can't move on, I've tried numerous times. I love him too much and I'm really looking for an answer that will really help.

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