My ex and I were each others' firsts, dated for a year and a half before he broke up with me because we fought a little. We were extremely close and neither of us planned on breaking up with each other. It happened very suddenly and it's obviously shaken us both up.
Now he's had a new girlfriend for two months (she's had 6 one-month relationships and is "bisexual" so she can do whatever she wants, spoiled sick too) who's OBSESSED with how I see her. She's basically trying to make herself appear good by playing victim and copying my ex's personality. My ex has gotten into a fight with both his girlfriend and her best friend already. None of his friends like her and he's frustrated because they are telling him to break up with her.
My ex wanted me to be his best friend, but right now he doesn't know. He said I need to "recover" and that "I'm kinda torn apart because she was my first but she's really scared me over the past few months" (pasted from a text) He has me blocked on most sites, however I don't have him blocked. He does watch my activity feeds and goes onto my pages daily to check my comments. He said he won't befriend me again until I "show" him that I can be his friend...
He says he still cares deeply about me and that he watches over me, but he says he wants me to " stop thinking there's some sort of chance, even remotely, that I will consider getting with her again", which is weird because he's mentioned this many, many times at random... I said a few negative things about him, which caused him to get pissed and I apologized, but he also said more mean things than I did.
He said that even though he's my ex, he still loves me as a best friend (platonic) and he will kick anybody's @ss who hurts me.
I still do love him a lot, he's been my best friend for 3 years, but I keep everything platonic with him. I don't see how he's possibly jumping to conclusions like this. All I've done is offered him a second chance and told him I'll always be there for him... He thinks he has changed for the better when really nothing good has happened.
Recently he's been in a confused, distraught manner. He THINKS he's doing the right thing, but isn't so sure anymore, and has become too paranoid to trust anyone else when it comes to criticism. He's never been like this before. His girlfriend has been a miserable wreck and keeps going to him to cry to.
1. How do I show him that I want to be his friend again?
2. Does it sound like he will come back?
3. Is there really another chance for me?
4. Will his new girlfriend last long?
5. Is this all because he's scared of his feelings?
Please, PLEASE don't say "move on" either, I refuse to. And please don't give me a one-worded answer.
Most Helpful Girl
Answers to questions:
1. You show him you want to be his friend, by treating him like a friend. Which means, you give him space when he asks, and you SUPPORT him in whatever he choses. Which, in this case, may be to date another woman. You also don't disrespect his romantic relationship by bringing up the topic of the two of you dating.
3. Yes, let him be. GIVE HIM SPACE. He cannot miss you if you are never gone. DON'T sabotage his relationship, act jealous or crazy or any of that BS. When you see them, SMILE at her, be nice, he will gain more respect for you than you may know.
4. Hard to say, your opinion is the only one I have, and you're a bit biased (understandably)
5. I don't think 'scared of feelings' or 'afraid of commitment' are real. He's doing what he wants to do, which is date someone else. He is telling you how he feels, and he feels that he doesn't wnt you to get your hopes up about the two of you. I think it sounds like he knows how he feels.
Overall, I think it sounds like it's over. He's blocked you on websites. You don't break up after a year and a half because you faught 'a little'. There was obviously some sort of problem that could not be resolved and kept resurfacing. Of course you didn't plan on breaking up, who does? If we did, we wouldn't date the person in the first place, right? You've pointed out all of the 'bad' qualities of the current girlfriend out of jealousy. She has what once belonged to you, and you thought would always be yours, that hurts. No one wants to believe that they can be replaced, or that someone else might be a better fit for the ex. If I were you, I would stop contacting him. Let him wonder what you are doing, let him miss you, let him contact you if he wants to. Guys do what they want to, bottom line. If he wanted to be with you, then he would be.0