Cheating or just flirting?

For some reason, I went through my boyfriend's phone and found what I was indirectly looking for. He has random conversations with girls on Facebook, whatsapp and via texts. Some of these messages are what one would consider questionable. Here are general things that are bring said in short: are you up?, I am in a relationship but, let's meet at x mall, I have a filthy mind, send your bbm pin etc. I don't know how to confront him about this - which is what so many girls say, but let me tell you why; he may just be a man looking for validation as from I understand 'that's how men are wired'. He is a very attractive guy and women turn heads when they see him and he knows this. but don't be mistaken, without intent of this coming across as vain, I am the female version - I am good looking but humble about it. I don't have an issue if he speaks to other women as long as his intentions are pure and he is mindful of me. Let's be serious, everyone flirts on occasion but to a certain point. I don't want it to be the situation where he is looking for things from other women. He has been doing this behind my back and a certain amount of trust has been lost from my side. We are planning on moving in together soon and having children straight after. I don't want to proceed knowing that there is some doubt in my mind of his intentions and it getting to sometime in the future and he cheats on me and I found out then going through so much telling myself that I should have reacted when I saw the initial warning signs. Do I address this now? If so, how do I go about doing so, bearing in mind that I intentionally searched his phone behind HIS back?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, for some people flirting with other people is cheating, so that depends on what you consider flirting. If you're OK with his behavior , then that's fine, but we don't know if he actually meets up with those girls. Problem is, you can't really confront him with his behavior , right? So what you could do is make up a story. Like: my friend X told me that her boyfriend is flirting with other girls, like meeting up behind her back with other girls, telling them he's naughty or dirty or something, ... See how he reacts.

    Sorry if this is a bit lame, I don't really know what else you could do.

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What Guys Said 1

  • depends on you an your future, to some flirting is cheating to others its not so much. Sneaking behind his back to look into his phone could be considered cheating.

    basically you need to bust him, like try that x-mall catch him red handed. other than that I don't know how you will feel about staying in this relationship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would keep real quite about the whole thing and then try to bust him physically doing anything.

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