How do I deal with my ex?

My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. I was just a rebound although she never really got over her ex. She broke up with me because she realized he was the one for her. He loves her too and was hurt that she immediately got into a relationship. Now, she's going to wait for him to come back to her. Red flags kept propping up throughout the relationship and when I asked her about it she kept re-assuring me that she'd choose me over him.

I'm deeply hurt that she left me but at the same time I want her to be happy but it hurts so bad that she doesn't really even care about me a little. My screaming at her when she broke up and calling her a bitch, might've contributed to it.

my problem is we were best friends before this and we're part of the same group of friends at school.

we always hang out together and neither of us are ready to back out of the group.

i told her that its okay and even wished her all the best. (she broke up with me over text)

I'd act as if everything was cool between us but she keeps saying hurtful comments about finding an awesome guy on purpose for me to hear and I asked her to piss off. It makes me feel sick to the core that she doesn't even believe I've got the right to be angry at her. I tried to make things right by talking to her but she acted all cocky and laughed when I asked if it was something I did.

i didn't want to scream at her again so I walked away. About a week later I apologized to her and tried to take up the consolation prize of being just a friend again because I didn't want to lose her and even then she ignored me most of the time so I left it.

Its been 2 weeks of NC and all our friends are going to meet up in a couple of days and she'll be there too and she'll be all extra energetic and she'll keep hugging all the guys except me and it was vice-versa before. lol

How do I cope with all the hurtful comments?

I do have friends other than this group and I'll be just fine without them but one of my best friends is in it. They tell me that if it wasn't for me dating her, no one would give a rats ass about her but that's not what they portray when she's around. They act as if nothing happened and I'm glad its that way but I feel a little bad when they don't take my side at all.

I don't want to leave the group as it'll be just a sign of weakness from my side. I don't know what to do.

Sorry about the super long post :p


Most Helpful Guy

  • okay, look. Its always a bad idea to go for a girl that has a boyfriend. You should never go for a girl that has a boyfriend. Because there is a golden rule when doing this. I will state it for you.

    "if she can leave him for you, she will leave you for another" ----- Do you understand?.

    You should have never even fell for her game. Now I suggest leaving this supposed "group" of friends that you have, cause they really aren't your friends. If they were your friends, they would take your side, cause she's the low one who already had someone and went behind his back for another guy. aka you.

    The only reason they like her around, if probably because she's pretty. Or your friends could be feeding you that bs that they said about her to you, just to play both streets. So I would tread waters lightly with this group of friends. I would actually honestly never speak to these people again until one day they approach you again.

    Actually I will guarantee you this. If you separate yourself now from them, I guarantee these "friends" won't be friends anymore in a couple of months. Cause this girl sounds like she's drama. And so do these group of people that you hang with.

    Your in high school right? If so, I was in similar shoes as you when I was in high school. Just separate yourself from the group, their all losers by the sounds of it anyways. Even if its the most popular group in school, their probably the dumbest. Anyways. You will make many new friends, and find an even better girl trust me. And then this ex of yours will cry. Just move on and be happy. That's what will bother them the most.

    I wouldn't go chill with your friends on this next day you guys are supposedly meeting up. Go chill with some new people. It will be a lot more fun and entertaining then the regular same old same old. And plus, she will probably be hurt that she didn't see you on your weekend meet or whenever this is supposed to be taking place. Don't speak about her or ask about her ever again. One day she will approach you again, and you will honestly want nothing to do with her.ha!

    Anyways, point of this msg. Get new friends, meet new people.

    • I've got plenty of friends outside the circle. :)

      Talking to new people was never really a problem. I've got plenty of others and you hit everything right. they're dumb but popular.

      Are you trying to say that I shouldn't bother trying to be friends with her? I know that's probably the mature thing to do but I don't know if I should go through with it.

    • You have to go through with not being her friend. Think as if you have never meet her, and never knew who she was. She doesn't "hug" you anymore, you said. She clearly doesn't show that friendship anymore, so why should you. Just stay away from them. They will fall apart anyways, and she will one day speak to you again. Then you can decide if you wanna be her friend or not.

    • And I'm not "trying" to say you have to not be her friend. YOU "HAVE" TO. Next time you see her in the hall, Look past her, and you'll see how she will look at you. Just stay away from her, she sounds messed up anyways. Your young you will find better.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • It is not a sign of weakness at all. If you need a few weeks to back of from everyone, explain that to them. It will allow both of you time to get re-adjusted to the new dynamic of the group. it is actually a mature thing to do. Plus it will show respect towards her for allowing her some space to make the transition as well. Hope that helps?!


What Guys Said 1

  • "My screaming at her when she broke up and calling her a bitch, might've contributed to it."

    Well, good on you for that, at least. She used you for comfort, she wasn't serious about you at all.

    She's IS a bitch. If your friends really feel that way, then they should shun her bitch ass when she shows up.

    You're so goddamn nice. I'd make a f***ing scene. I'd call her out on all her sh*t in front of everybody, for being the backstabbing little sh*t that she is. If her boyfriend was there, I'd call her out on all the horrible sh*t she said about him while she was with me.

    • I adore her waaaaaaaay too much for my own liking. She's the sensitive type and she'd break down crying. I'd rather hack my arm of than make any girl cry. Bit of an extreme view that one :P

      I kinda melt when I see her. Couldn't bring myself to make a scene. Wouldn't get me anything.