Less you show you're interested, the more they like you?

It seems like if I invite a girl to hangout, the less I show I'm interested, the better. What seems to work is if I'm kind of aloof, but still make a move. If I show I'm interested and then make a move, I tend to get resistance.

Is there something to being aloof? I mean, I'm asking them to hangout so that telegraphs some interest, but while hanging out, tending to be aloof helps.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • it has been happening to me too! and this guys is like hot and cold in his flirting. so I always wonder. But I can't act aloof because he gets jealous of everyone and heĀ“ll think he doesn't have a chance.

    I woould always want to be obvious when I like a guy. but guys don't like that.


What Guys Said 1

  • I know people are going to disagree with me on this, but this is the truth for both men and women.

    If you treat someone really well, that person tends to think you are trying so hard, because you think you are not good enough for them. As a result they will think you are not good enough for them. If you don't try that hard, they think that you believe you are too good for them, and worry that maybe that is true and feel a need to prove their worth by trying harder.

    Another example is a spoiled child will think they are better than the parents, because the parents try too hard to please the child. Sometimes people need to be humbled a bit, and reminded that our lives do not revolve around them.