Did he take it personally when I left?

Everything was going great, lot of chemistry, lot of flirtation, everyone was beginning to notice us and his friends were dropping hints about us. He seemed a little shy so I casually mentioned in a text one day that id be open to going for a drink sometime. I got no reply to this. And Right at this time I took a very good opportunity which meant I had to temporarily move away so would see him a lot less. but I wasn't going far at all. and in truth I still very much thought we could and would be together. but I noticed he completely cooled his jets right then. I was very saddened by this and I felt played and messed around.

After a few months he started trying to make a connection again and when I moved back he was very full on again.

Can any guy explain this? why did he cool off so much? we were going great and it was clear there would be something great between us together as a couple.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's really hard to say. Perhaps he felt that the distance you were moving away was too great to realistically pursue you. Maybe perhaps he thought that you going away was in some way or manner influenced by his thoughts you had feelings for another man in that area. In these aspects, I can't say that he took it personally.

    If he decided to stop talking to you because he resented the fact that you were moving, then perhaps then yes he did take it personal. There's no one on here that can answer that question for him but him. If he's reaching out now that you're back, then perhaps if time and situation permits, then you should ask him how he feels about you as a person, how he felt when you moved and get him to open up and convey what his real feelings were.

    • no - we're going out now. and he is very full on and very invested in things with me. but I am just afraid to let go, and still a bit haunted by his ability to just cut off last year

    • Again I think this is one of those situations where only he will have the answers you're looking for. Which means again, you will have to get him to open up and convey his feelings about the matter. We can only give you perspective and speculation, but it will be only him that holds the answers.

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What Guys Said 2

  • in my opinion some guys are quite simple, out of sight out of mind. but he did take it personally and had to cool off from and when you came back it was like another chance, since he IS shy.

  • Yes, he did take it personally.

    Or it must be that he found another girl when you were away so he decided to focus his time on her.

    • the only reason I don't think the latter is because around the time when I left, we were really close and his friends were saying he was really invested in me, and really really liked me - and that it wasn't just a casual flirty interest.. which was why I was so surprised he cooled off :(

    • You took the risk, and it turned out bad.

      Well that's life when it comes to taking risks. Sometimes, you win big; sometimes, you crash face down.

      The best way to deal with things is to spend more time with him. Reinitiate the flirtings.

    • things are going great now with us, its all on between us. but still, what happened last year bothers me as to why he backed off

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