My boyfriend is moving back home what should I do?

Here's the details. My boyfriend and I met online. We knew each other for awhile but started to talk more and more for about a year. We decided to meet up. Everything was perfect, we spent summer together out where I am and he went back home. Then after a month apart I went to his home town and stayed for about a month and half and at this time he decided he wanted to be with me and moved back home with me. Now in this time he hasn't really had a job he liked, or found it easy out here but we were together. That's all that mattered because to him I was the girl he could spent the rest of his life with. So now almost three years later he decides he wants to move back home. He said he's miserable out here. I'm the only good thing here. I'm from New York and he's from Ohio. He told me he'll be leaving in a month or two maybe sooner. It's the only way we can both be happy. Since NY is what I know and I have plans here and Ohio is what he's comfortable with and he wants to be able to do something for himself. Get his own place, a good job, and a car. I completely understand as to why he would go back, I just don't understand why after three years he is making such a drastic choice. I love him, and I know he loves me but should I stay in NY when all I have here is my family. I finished school and am certified. I really have nothing else here anymore. Or should I go with him, and live some place completely different then what I am use to. Three years is a long time to have someone in your life to walk away from, especially when the feelings haven't changed. Or should I suck it up and stay here and let the last three years fall apart, and be crushed. I honestly don't know what to do. Also we'll both be 23 in a few months.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It really depends on you. Do you like living in Ohio?

    Does that place provides you with the opportunities so that you can succeed in life as well?

    Think more about yourself, and decide upon that.

    • Yeah there's opportunities there for me. It's just a different way of life, it's fast paced in ny, it's a lot slower there. The town he wants to move to is like the country, if it was the city area it wouldn't be so bad. I've been thinking about myself, we had our future planned out. We booked a trip to the Bahamas next year nonrefundable. I was planning on moving there one day. Everything's just happening a lot sooner. I don't want to lose him because of the distance.

    • Take time to think about it.

      Let him move first and send him your goodbyes for a moment.

      Say that you want to think about it first.

    • Well I think I may go with him, but the more I begin to think about it. It seems more like he just wants to control everything. I have a dog whom I do not want to leave behind, and he's doing everything in his power to keep that from happening. I don't believe in leaving dogs outside, and he's refusing to have him inside. I'm going to change my life and he's trying to change everything.

  • It would help you get more people to answer your question if you structured your sentences in paragraphs, and if you made more sense. This way, you could get more feedback. However, that is not a guarantee, because many people would not know how to advise you in this area.

    Try talking to him about it. If you move to Ohio will you be able to adapt? Would you give up your dreams for your boyfriend? If you really want to be with him, you could go, but would you be able to get a job there and help support him, or would he be supporting him yourself? Communicate these things with him and see if you can reach a decision with him. Seriously, don't break up over this. Stay happy.


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