Should I put his ex in her place?

So my boyfriend just told me his ex girlfriend called him few minutes ago asking him if they could spend the day together and he said the way she said it she was speaking in a soft lonely depressing voice so he could feel bad for her.

She even text him sometime telling him to leave me and go back to her. Should I leave it alone or put her in her place because she getting me really angry I want to tell her a few bad words

As much as I would like any guy I would never interfere with him and his relationship. She had her chance and she blew it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. What is it young lady, eager to be the B**** when your boyfriend is busy lending a shoulder, ear and stuff? ;)

    2. Come on, it's his baby. She's his EX cause she's no longer in his life

    3. It's his call, HE needs to answer her - NOT you!

    4. Either she's a b**** trying to see if she can still get a leverage with him and/or she simply wants to test her 'strength' if she's stronger than you and him i.e. in prying him away (another woman's insecurity is the other woman's strength - sad but that's how it works)

    5. If you go and tell her off etc, you'll only conform to what she wants apart from your boyfriend taking it out on you - most likely

    6. The best thing to do is speak to your boyfriend and tell him that this is making you uncomfortable etc. May take a while or days to get him to see the point

    7. Don't give him ultimatums and stuff - it will only make him miserable and nothing +ve will come out of that for both of you

    8. If point 6 doesn't really work out then you may take a call :)

    Good luck :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • This isn't about you, specifically. This is more about your boyfriend. He should be putting you first and telling her she's taking this too far. There mere fact that he hasn't shut this down immediately should be sending red flags up.

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  • This isn't really about her.

    What you are dealing with is relationship boundary issues. Your boyfriend feels that it's beyond his control to decide whether or not to have conversations with his ex. In modern times, this could be an issue if you choose monogamy. If you're open to poly-amorous relationships, then she's kind of part of the group at this point, and maybe all three of you should get together and chat. Divide up his time or something. ;-)

    How you should proceed is to let him know how it makes you feel, and to ask him what he intends to do about it. His baggage is his responsibility, and she's still on the carousel in baggage claim, waiting for him to come pick her up or something.

    Take a few deep breaths, smile, and proceed with kindness. It's not your responsibility to deal with her. It's his.

    Good luck.

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    • Thank you and he know how I feel about it and he said since I'm getting mad about it it's best he don't tell me anything

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    • He didn't want to look at me because he said I lied to him about trusting him and he said he wish that we could just be on good terms.

    • Well, it's tough, when someone realizes they're not as untouchable as they think they are.

      Tell him he's asking for a lot and you wanted objective opinions, because he's tough to believe.

      He's got a good chance of being honest with you. But he's not taking your feelings into account, and certainly doesn't see your point of view when it comes to him talking to someone else.

  • Come on girl don't act like a f***ing primate! (Immmm MAD so I'm just going to scream and shhhit)

    Just play it cool you'll def' come out on.

    /Best of luck

    Max

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  • Well there is one of two things going on. A. your boyfriend is a nice guy and left the relationship with her as "being friends" so she can feel comfortable to call him, or B. he is not being frank with her enough, that he is involved with another woman and she needs to take hint that he wants nothing to do with her. A lot of guys say they don't communicate with an ex, but sadly in the phsyilogical makeup within a man, they tend keep an open communication. Make sure he is being honest with you.

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    • She knows how he feels about me and she always get mad at him when he post something on Facebook about us and she get really jealous when she sees our pictures. And I try to make him be honest and he said he always tell her he can't see her and he's busy and stuff but she won't back down but sometimes I feel like he entertains the little conversation they have

  • Tell her to back off, he probably won't do it because he enjoys the attention she gives him

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    • I jus told him to tell her to back off and he said there's no need for that unless I'm worried and That's why he don't feel like telling me things sometimes so I told him I'm not worried but you need to put her in her place and he said she's got nothing on me . And I also said to him " when my ex was telling me to come back to him and leave you I told him to back off every time" I don't see why I'm always a bad person when it come to these things

    • you might have to talk to her yourself then sorry

What Girls Said 5

  • Leave it.

    Firstly, if you do nothing you will look like the more mature person in your boyfriends eyes.

    And secondly, I know it's horrible for you, but imagine how his ex feels. She's upset, lonely, and watching the one she loves love another. Do you really wanna start beating down her front door because she's hurting?

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  • No, he needs to man up and tell her that she is behaving unacceptably, and refrain from contacting her no matter how much she "needs" him. I think he is behaving weakly because he still likes her or likes the attention and feeling wanted. If he talk to her a lot and takes her up on her offers to hang out, I wouldn't be surprised if he's cheating.

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    • He said I got nothing to worry about because she has nothing on me and he also said he wouldn't do nothing purposely knowing that it would hurt me . I think he jus want the attention from her

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    • Thank you so much

    • You're welcome. :)

  • I'd stay out of it.. but if he DOES go to see her, then let him know that you are against it and may or may not be around for him when he gets back. She obviously is trying to get him back and that's the only reason she wants to hang out with him

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  • he needs to say it not you, you don't even know her, that would just cause a fight.

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  • No let him handle his business give him an ultimatum

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