It's been a week since the one person I love walked out of my life. He's my first love. I can't help but feel that it's all my fault in a way. I mean I did after all take him for granted. I f***ed everything up. I treated him like sh*t, I cheated on him. We met in 2009 and we were together off and on up until this year.
We kept saying bye to each other, and how this is the last time and this and that. But goodbye never really happened. We can't last without talking to each other or even seeing each other. he's my best friend and I can be myself around him. he's amazing.
I wish everyday we can go back to how we were in the beginning. Even if we are dysfunctional together. I still love him. It sucks because now he is seeing some girl and he seems happy with her. But the truth is, he cheated on her multiple times with me.
Me and her got into a fight on stupid Facebook, and I told her he cheated, and he found out and flipped sh*t out on me and blah blah blah. But then he just denys it to her. Even after he told me he doesn't want to hide anything from her and such.
So I can't help but feel like that he lied to me multiple times and cheated on me when we were together, But I mean I can't be mad because I did it too him. I regret it till this day.
I can't help but not ignore this feeling inside me that I need one last chance with him, but he doesn't want to work this out right now. He told me he knows we will be together in the future? but who can believe that? I mean I don't want to get my hopes up.
Even if its been only a week, I can't help but feel sorry for him. I guess its karma in a way, since every day when he looks at her or kisses her or whatever, he is lying to her about cheating on her with me.
I don't know, I just need to talk to him but he doesn't want to talk to me. Even though this is half of his fault. I lost my best friend, and I don't know what to do. Everyday I think about him and us...
So what do I do?
Most Helpful Guy
You need to stop concerning yourself with him. Distance yourself from him.
It's clear that he's only using you for hookup reasons, and making you cling to false hopes.
If he says that you will be together in the future, when will that be? It's most likely not going to happen. He seems happy with her so he tends to be close to her.
Now, for you, you should find a new guy who you deem is worth for you.
Find a guy who is like your boyfriend or surpasses his qualities. Find a guy who can commit to you in the long run.0