Could he be cheating on me? or am I just overly paranoid?

Today is my boyfriends 19th birthday, I'm only 17 so he told me he wouldn't go to the bar seeing as I couldn't be there. He then decided to go out, I didn't mind, until I found out the girl that is interested in him, is there. I'm mad! He posted a status, just a little while ago, saying he was at a hotel, and let's get "effed" up. Who goes to a hotel to drink? He also hasn't answered any of my texts at all. My gut is telling me he's cheating.. Am I just crazy ? Do you think he's cheating? HELP ME..please.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Evaluating what you have stated. He went drinking somewhere where a girl that is interested in him was present. Perhaps it was coincidence, but maybe he knew ahead of time she would be there, Generally on the rare occasions when I am out with friends, if my woman texts or calls me, I answer, because I am just out with friends. If he isn't entertaining your calls or responding to your texts, then it is highly probable he is cheating. Just hanging with the fellas generally doesn't rate high enough for a guy to ignore texts from his woman.

    It is your right to be suspicious, especially if not answering his texts is out of character for him. As far as the type of response you will get from him remains to be seen.

    if he is, it is also a strong probability that if you confront him with just a speculation that he will lie to you and come up with some flimsy excuse, such as, I forgot my cell phone and left it at home or in the car or someone else car.

    If there is some way you can confirm that he is indeed cheating, then you will have better leverage when you confront him. If not, then chances are you may suspect it, and your suspicions may be right, but you may never really know what really happened.

    From that point, either way, you will have some decisions to make. Will you forgive him, even though he appears highly suspicious of being unfaithful or will you consider ending the relationship.

    Chances are if he has historically cheated in the past, then more than likely this incident will fall as another episode of infidelity. You will have to ask yourself is the relationship really worth all the heartache and pain? If you somehow justify his behavior then I'm guessing it is, but if you are tired of being hurt by his suspicious behavior, it will most likely be best that you consider ending this relationship. Of course it will hurt, but it's a lot better to hurt really bad once and heal from it, than to keep getting hurt time and time again. Not to mention your comfort in the relationship will be gone because of trust issues. You have to value yourself and your feelings and know that you deserve and can do better than what you're presently getting.

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What Guys Said 3

  • HIs friends could have gotten a hotel room to booze up...i know people who have done that before.

    I would gently ask him if he saw that girl when he was out that night, and gauge his reaction to see if you believe he is being truthful.

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  • Confront him.

    It's really likely that he's cheating on you.

    Your instinct is right.

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  • Guys will lie no matte what if he did cheat. Assume the worst unless proved otherwise

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm not going to lie, a hotel is a really weird place to drink. However, I don't know your town and that might be one of the few places you can drink. I'm assuming you're not from America because our drinking age is 21. If you do have trust issues with him then I would be considered not only about him but about yourself as well when it comes to your own worries. If you're concerned the next time you see him ask him what he did for his birthday and see what he says. Casually ask him later on why he was at a hotel because, "that's a weird place to drink". Then at the end say honestly how you feel to him in a non accusatory way. "I messages" are messages that don't accuse someone when saying how you feel. For example, "I felt concerned when you went out drinking at a hotel and later found out the chick who's interested in you was there. Hopefully I don't have to fight for your honor. (in a teasing way)." It lets him know what's on your mind without being accusatory or rude. So that way if he didn't do something then he knows what your concerns are and if he did, then it kind of hints at him that you have a general idea on what's up. Cool, right?

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  • Why not worry about things after they happen rather than before?

    He's probably not texting because he's rather be out celebrating than texting all night!

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    • If only That were possible :P people's minds are always going to wonder what if, that's just human nature. You do have a point in there tho. Have a healthy concern about it because that is a bit weird but also don't make such a big deal about that you aren't sure is happening that in itself will create problems.

  • the only way to be sure is to openly ask him! I had so many weird ideas& scenarios about my boyfriend, suspecting the worst ALWAYS! I think that we girsl are by nature paranoid.

    Try to see if he is lying by looking at his body language. Pay attention from now on on him and the girl - try to see some suspicios signs. You are not stupid, if something is going on - you will see it sooner or later. But if he seems to be honest, giving reasonable explanations, give him a break. after all, you are 17, he is only 19. You can not expect from him to sit home with you and watch TV on his b-day. I did some crazy parties and stuff in my life, without cheating on my bfs, and everyone would think I had if they seen pictures from those parties.

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