A stupid mistake because I'm a bloody woman. Any advice will help?

Been seeing this guy for just over a month, things were going really well, he was always texting, telling me he was thinking about me blah blah blah. We finally slept together, and I said lets take things slowly, then I went cold on him... Cos I'm stupid and in hindsight it was my walls coming up to avoid caring.

Anyways he's backed off a lot now. I left it for a week then explained that it was my walls that came up, and I was apologetic, he said he noticed it and it gave him doubt about where this is going, we cleared it up, but he still suggested slowing down the pace, but now I'm confused about how I approach the situation? Would hate to come across the wrong way. I have come to the realization far too slowly that I like him quite a bit but now feel that I have thrown him off completely.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's best if you can spend a lot of time with him.

    The wall you've set up has repelled him away so you have to work hard to let him know that you're really open to be with him again.

    That's by spending a lot of time with him, hanging out, and talking a lot to him.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Actually, aside from the initial mistake, you've handled it really well so far: you COMMUNICATED with him. Keep doing that, even if it's hard. Share your feelings and concerns with him and keep him in the loop, and you'll get past this with no real issues. It might even bring you closer.

    The absolute WORST thing you can do is clam up and pretend your feelings don't exist.

  • Honestly, it sounds doomed to me. Rocky start, very low probability of longevity.

    Men are easy. He gave you what you wanted. Now you don't know what you want. How could he give you that?

    Just chalk it up to experience and put more thought into it with your next guy before telling him what you think you want.

  • You both agreed to slow down the pace, so slow it down. I've had this happen to me before and I reacted just like him. Do what feels right at the moment, and continue to do that. Eventually you'll both be on the same page.

    • Great advice, so it didn't throw you off completely?

    • It threw me off, yes. But not completely. Like I said, I felt that we were going at a normal pace, but she realized that some things should have been saved for the future (if you'd like more details on that feel free to ask). We're still together and there's a bit of tension, but it's not over the whole slow down thing.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should let him know that you genuinely do like him and apologize for what happened, but after that let him make the moves for awhile. Wait for him to text you or to call to, to ask to hang out, basically let him decide the pace of the relationship for awhile. If he gets comfortable and you see things getting back to the way they were then go ahead start taking initiative too! But if you notice after awhile that he is still hesitant or unsure or kinda disappearing, then, unfortunately, I think you lost him. Just give him some time and a little space (I know that's the worst most annoying answer but frankly it's true)


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