Do I take a step back? he still has feelings for his ex.

i've been talking to/ dating this guy for about 3 months now. everything was very good at the beginning, but now it's become evident that he still really has feelings for his ex. they went out like 4 1/2 years together and broke up like a year and a half ago. he told me the other day though ( he was venting to me) about how he's caught himself thinking about her alot, and texting her the other day. and I know he likes me and stuff. but I just don't know what to do. I don't want to get hurt. but, I feel like if I take a step back and give him space I may lose him and I don't want that. he says he'd never get back with her because of what happened, but I don't even know. I just don't know how to come at this situation. how I should be reacting. I just dunno.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would just be alert and keep your wits about you. Maybe backing up a bit would be OK, just keep your guard up (around your heart), you know? Keep some distance. He won't get over her faster just because you're in his space. He really needs time alone to do that, but it's been a year and half so really, he should almost be there. My guy was not really over his ex when we met. He talked a lot about her right away, and I could tell he was still hurt and looked a little wistful when speaking of her, like he still missed her. To be honest, he probably would have continued to chase her if we hadn't met, but, we did. :) Knowing how he felt about her, didn't bother me right away. It only bothered me once I was in love with him, and she tried to contact him 8 months into our relationship. I became incredibly insecure about her, because I knew how important she had been to him. He completely ignored her though, a week later we were engaged and he just told me yesterday that I am the love of his life :-) If I'd not dated him because I thought he wasn't over the ex, we wouldn't be where we are today.

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  • i got with my current partner about 7 months after he split from his ex of 7 years, He use to talk about his ex alot, so one day I asked him if he had feeling for her still and he said he did have untill his feeling for me got stronger now he doesn't feel anything for her and I was the only person he wanted to be with now. so appreciated his honesty and gave him the benifit of the doubt and put it down to him having so many memories with her and that's all he known for 7 years hoping that it would eventualy die down and it did we are still together 2 years on. Ask him this question? I would have run a mile if I asked him and he said yes he still did have feelings and that he had even texted her.There's missing the memories of a time gone by and then actually missing the person and wanting to be close to them. Don't try think what you can change about your attitude, its him that needs to change and choose and not get into another relationship if his heart isn't free. Don't make some a priority when you are only an option, your worth more!

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  • well don't give himm too much space, since he is being honest with you it is obvious that he would rather be with you than her , so just act normal and don't get too deep into this relationship just in case something happens (hoping not )

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