Should I publicly out her?

So first off, I wasn't sure whether to put this in break-up, health, or other as it is a combo.

So me and my ex have been broken up for about three months now due to infidelity on her part. Which really sucked. But I have started to emotionally get over it, although I haven't seen anyone else yet (which is a very important part of this story). So about two weeks ago I started getting some stinging when I peed and I went to the doctor and got my results yesterday. I have chlamydia, which can be asymptomatic for long periods of time in some people.

Now, as I know that this doesn't magically appear (again haven't slept with anyone since our break-up) I can make the fairly logical conclusion that I got it from her/the dudes she was sleeping with. This has added extreme insult to injury. So I know I need to tell her, but should I make the statement open or even on Facebook? I am asking you girls and guys because I kind of want someone to talk me out of it, but I can't think of a valid reason not to do it.

Updates:
Yeah, I was thinking that it would be really low to do, but here is my retort. The main thing is that she was cheating on me with so many different guys that there is a good chance a bunch of them probably have it and she would never tell them. And I would like to say this as to immaturity link This me and this was the last straw That and she is still sleeping around and all those guys have the right to know
Yeah, I decided to only talk to her about it. But I told her that if she doesn't tell the guys I'll tell the ones I know she has slept with (at this point I know of 10 if the she caught it from the first guy she was cheating on me with). Its amusing how GAG people usually say the exact opposite as my closer friends lol. But I know she won't tell them so that'll be fun, but it needs to be done as she has become a public health problem

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand that you want revenge. I've been in situations in my life where I just wanted to scream out into the whole world what an a**hole some guy has been to me. I never did it. I did small and harmless things, but they never made me feel better in the end. So I think revenge really isn't worth it. I don't believe in karma, but I think people like that do eventually get their punishment. Mainly because of their crap personality; I mean you can't go through life being an a**hole and never getting anything back.

    I have a question though: if you posted it on Facebook, how would those guys see? Are you friends with them on FB? If you post it on her timelines, she'll probably just delete it right away. If you know who those guys are, it might be a good idea to send them a private message and advice them to get tested.

    Regarding your link to your other post: I've been in a similar situation. My ex and I didn't have mutual friends, but he spread lies about me. Not just to anyone, but to the police. The short version: we remained friends after the break-up, he told me he'd like to see me again (long distance), a couple of weeks later he disappeared, I was concerned, sent him emails and text messages, not too many, and not daily. Not even every week. A couple of months after his disappearing act, I found out via FB that he has a new girlfriend and probably ignored me because of her, i.e. no longer had a need for me. I sent him an email saying he could've told me and that I was worried about him. A few days later the police contacted me because I supposedly messaged his girlfriend. When that happened, I wanted to tell ALL of his friends what a filthy liar he is, and yes, I did then want to message his girlfriend to let her know that he was hitting on me in the beginning of their relationship. I didn't though. It was hard. I thought about it many times. To be honest, I still do sometimes. But I know it wouldn't really help me. Best thing I can do is ignore that bastard and hope that one day he will realize what a lowlife he is and feel bad.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Despite that you said basically the same thing as everyone else, you put a personal story in that I can relate to

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What Girls Said 10

  • I would tell her you got the STD and leave it at that. Publicly shaming her on Facebook would look super unclassy. You could volunteer to tell the guys she slept with about the STD if she doesn't, because this is a health issue.

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  • Look she's a b!tch. That's just all. However, you don't need to sink to her level. Just call her and be like look, I got tested for chlamydia and have it, which means you do too, because I haven't slept with anyone else since our break up. So go get checked out." Then end the conversation. You don't have do anything else. In fact, I think it's a nice thing that you're telling her even after she treated you so poorly.

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  • Do you think she would still sleep with guys knowing she had this and not warn them then absolutely out her. These guys have a right to know. But who says they are meeting her on Facebook, it might just out her to her friends and family and not anyone she is sleeping with. In that case it would just make you look bad.

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  • She might be a loser. But you could be the bigger person here, and show you still got some class. Definitely let her know . But apart from that just let it go for now. Just stay away from her.

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  • you don't want to be rude. then you're just gonna look like a scorned lover whose tryyn to make her look bad

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  • I can think of a valid reason not to post it on Facebook, or blab about it to everyone you know: That would be petty, and immature, and not only would it make her look bad, it would make you look bad. It's not classy to air your dirty laundry like that.

    I know she cheated on you, and everything.. but really. That's totally uncalled for. If you're really trying to move on from this, perpetuating drama over it is not the way. Just let her know discreetly that you caught an std from her. Don't be trashy about it.

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    • Those guys all know the risks associated with unprotected sex. Let them figure it out. Or, if you REALLY feel like you should tell them, let them know without humiliating your ex on Facebook. Tell them all personally and discreetly (as discreet as you can be, with multiple people, anyway, lol.).

  • It is super immature to do that on Facebook. Just be a bigger person, tell her to get her cheating ass to a doctor, and move on with your life.

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  • Adding to what everyone else said, letting all of Facebook know she has chlamydia, would also imply to everyone that you have it as well...

    So even if you don't care that it's immature and petty, at least for purely selfish reasons, I wouldn't put it out there. Tell her in private, and let her know it's important she tells anyone else who needs to know.

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  • don't be that person who uses social media pages to out people, she may be a bad person but just letting her know she is spreading a disease to alllllll those guys and you who she has slept with is kind of embarrassing enough, and maybe she will reevaluate her life..

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  • Best approach is te tell her privately regardless of her faults she deserves some respect. And I'm sorry its treatable.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Count your blessings it wasn't herpes or genital warts (both incurable) or worse.

    Just move on. No point in wrestling with a pig as you'll get covered in dirt same as her.

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  • Look. It'll look bad on your part if you publicly announce your statement that you got some disease. Just leave it to the fact that you got this and let it go. If she sleeps around with all these guys, eventually they will know. Eventually her behavior will get to her. It could be possible that they are willing engaging in this behavior. Although they may or may not know how many people she is sleeping with. I think everybody enters into this risk that they might get some disease when they willing engage in sexual behavior.

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    • Announcing things on Facebook may give some people a trainwreck to watch, but I think it won't help him with his reputation, IMO.

    • It announces to the world that you got taken advantage of and now you have this sickness. NOT good. You don't need to go announcing all your diseases.

  • Lol so you want to write on the net that you have chlamydia? It's not going to exactly improve your chances with other girls. Your need for revenge will hurt you too, 'cause once something like that is out there, it's out there and you won't be doing yourself any favors by advertising your STD plus all the other girls will see you as a major jerk. Don't do it to yourself man.

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    • Didn't even think of the ladies. Good call

  • No, you shouldn't post it but here's what you can do.Tell her you are going to post it in one week because you want her to sweat it out before you do. What she will most likely do is go on damage control & start telling people to expect some bs about her spreading her little clammy friends around.

    Let her do the dirty work for you & if she's stupid enough, she will make herself look like the tramp she is all by herself while you sit back & get the last laugh.

    If she doesn't, at least you'll know she's been sweating it all week while glued to FB waiting for your update, that won't ever come. And don't forget to send her a jar full of clams at X-mas time. It never hurts to remind someone how much of a tramp they are.

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