I'm seeing this girl. She is all that I want, sweet, feminine, caring, loving, smart, attractive and most importantly she loves me unconditionally. However, my past relationship failed because I was not physically attracted to my ex girlfriend, I am very scared of getting hurt again so I confessed to the current girl and luckily she understood and agreed to do "it" with me although she is still a virgin and wanted to refrain from it until marriage. To be honest, it took me a couple of months to convince her. But now that she told me she wants it, I don't want to hurt her feelings because I know she is not really ready even though she kept telling me she is. So now I am facing a dilemma. I am very sure of myself that I can't go through another such a failed relationship again because I know about myself "it" is something as important as emotions and I would never want to cheat on my partner if we are not physically compatible so I am very cautious. I have wondered whether or not should I try it with the current girl or just give up. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to see her getting hurt either if I find out later we are not compatible. Any thoughts?
*I wasn't sexually attracted to my ex, we were not sexually compatible.
*I explained to the current girl what she needed to know and told her it's her choice and I would understand if she decides to leave me.
*She told me a number of times she is ready. It's me telling her she is not
*I felt she isn't ready because I think she doesn't understand much about sex so I told her we should wait and I wanted to give her time to understand more about this aspect of a relationship.
*To you guys who think I should compromise and let me fall for her without having sex. I am sorry I really can't do that. I would rather lose her. Sorry it sounds crappy and selfish.
Most Helpful Girl
Let her stick with her original plans. You said this took convincing for her? That's not a good sign. What if you take her virginity and you end up breaking up? You'll really hurt this girl.
She may be saying she wants it to happen, but she doesn't even realize the kind of emotional stress it could put on her. And I think you're considering that consequence as well.
My opinion, you can be physically attracted to someone without sleeping with them. I am saving my virginity because I have seen so many of my friends have emotional issues after they have sex. So, try to make this relationship work without sex. Tell her you changed your mind and want to do what she wanted to originally. Try to make it work that way. Don't sleep with her because you convinced her to. That's manipulation for all the wrong reasons. You don't want to look back and think you hurt this girl for one physical part of a relationship.
Try building on what you already have. Make your relationship stronger as it is. Don't put any physical pressures on her.1