How to handle my ex-girlfriend who went back to her ex but still is in my life and I still have feelings for


I [26/m] dated a girl [25/F] for a few months and we share great experience--when we first started dating she was in a bad place and had a lot of hatred for her on/off again ex. She and I dated and through oru relationship she became happy and in a better place--unfortunately she wants/is planning to go back to her ex to try one more time (he isn't a bad guy but there are just on/off).

I'll be blunt--I would like her back but I know I need to respect her decision. The problem is she is still lingering in my life and wants to come to a big race (half marathon) this weekend--I know I don't want to be friends/contact with her while she's working things out with her ex for the fifth time and to be honest I want to give things time to see if one day we can rekindle things.

How should I go about talking to her to say good bye amicable but leave the door open for the future--I want her to be happy no matter what. I was either thinking to let her come to my half and treat her normally/non-chalant and then telling her I plan on getting out of her life for now (I definitely don't want to be afriend when shes' taken) or just saying the same thing and that I'd like to do my race solo (without her support).

Ultimately--I want to gracefully say good bye and maintain my respect but let her know I care for her and maybe leave teh door open down the line...


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you need her. But say you do want her, just walk away for now. And let it be. But don't tell her she can come back whenever. Because then you make yourself an option. She might come back each time things don't work with her ex and then go back again. You don't want that do you

    • Thanks--how do I walk away? Should I just ignore her or just text her something ?

    • Show All
    • Thanks ladies--I guess how would your phrase/end is amicably to leave room for rekindling--or is it hopeless, she's moved on?

    • SO once you have said all that to her. You sort of get closure and you will start moving on. But you will be lingering in her mind. And if she feels she has lost you and realizes she still has feelings she might come back.

What Guys Said 1

  • Move on, period. Don't even say goodbye. STOP talking to her and stop communicating with her. You are a filler, a emotional tampon. There is nothing left here. Lets think about this...

    When she is with you or talks to you, you do just about everything that couples do, except there is no intimacy. That right there should tell you everything you need to know but lets go further. She wants another guy who is her ex (This should be THE END), so in that sense she is telling you that you are not good enough for her. Besides that here is the hidden message that she is sending that most girls send to guys.

    Since most girls see themselves as "normal", she is also telling you that you don't qualify to be with a "normal" girl. She hasn't told you what you are missing or what you did wrong. I'm willing to bet she gave you excuses while she was dumping you. A offer of "friendship" is not asset, it's an insult.

    Instead of waiting for her in any sense or thinking about one day we can be together, you should move on to other girls that will appreciate your worth. She KNOWS how you feel about her, she KNOWS you want her, and secretly she is laughing her ass off.

    The door is closed and the bridges have been burned by her. Could you be the guy that she runs to after she has sex with her boyfriend and has small talks with you? You should concentrate on YOUR happiness. You have become one of the "girls", her stand-by, her last resort. Ask yourself, are you willing to wait 20 years for her? Are you willing to be Forest Gump and for her to be your Jenny? There is no guarantee that she will come back to you and even if she does she still could leave you for her ex again. Move on and NEVER talk to this girl again.