So my ex and I split last summer after four years together. It was pretty heartbreaking for both of us - I basically had a breakdown in the year leading up to our split (because of other stuff in my life) and he wasn't particularly good at dealing with me falling apart (I discovered he started sexting other girls). We argued a lot and I was unbearable to live with. There really seemed no other option than for us to break up.
He was devastated and asked that we remain friends. I told him I needed space. But he still was in touch with me constantly. I'm certain that on at least two occasions he was trying to get back with me. But I was too ill to see it then and I needed time to get well again.
A couple of months back I was feeling better and so I got in touch. We talked a long time and both admitted we missed one another and still had feelings. The problem is that he is confused and scared by the fact that I turned so many shades of crazy in the past, and is also worried that if we do try again if it messes up again he doesn't want to lose me as a friend.
I said he wouldn't, and that we could just take things slow without pressure. He agreed, and since then we've met up twice, both went well, and we text and email and chat a lot.
BUT I have no idea how to move things on again now. We've each suggested meetings that the other hasn't been able to make owing to our busy work schedules etc. So I don't think I'm hounding him... but should I continue to suggest things? Or will it annoy him?
My dating style in the past has always been to leave a man to chase me, but in this situation it is a little different. Plus I think I have taken it to the extreme before. In the past this guy himself has given me several dressing-downs over not expressing what I want, not grabbing the bull by the horns and whatever.
Does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do?
* I know he's been dating (via the internet mostly), but that he's found it lonely and difficult.
* He kind of looks a mess - he's a very handsome guy but he's put on weight and just looks not-so-shiny. Meanwhile I've changed my look, got super-fit and people keep saying I look the best I've ever looked. He's also down about his work. My impression is that his life is kind of all over the place right now and he's pretty lost.