Had a perfect thing going with a girl, then all of the sudden, she pulls back. (Please give me your input!)

So for a good two weeks I've been with this girl. Everything went perfect--we cuddled together, texted each other tons, fell asleep together in the same bed at my dads for a night, kissed and 69'd and such (no sex), ate together, planned going on a dance together, created a profile pic of our faces on both of our fb pages, had lunch with her friends, etc. We cuddled in her dorm room and she was acting weird, said she wants us to talk more in person than we have been (even though we talked aplenty) than text. I wrote down what happened that day and observed the following: "Chelsey told me she wants us to talk more, a relationship where we talk more in person and can joke around, Because we always text and text.

She says she is afraid. And she’s scared that she feels so close to me so quickly. She is scared of being hurt and hurting me. She says she hurt me anyway, even though that’s what she wanted to prevent. She says she is a bitch and she feels like sh*t.

We both are crying and shedding tears. I tell her I rarely cry in front of everyone. I tell her I feel sad, hurt, angry, disappointed. She says she wants to be friends and move slow, and keep the physical stuff out."

Then basically the next days our relationship/bond has been awkward/weird. For example, we were going to a college dance and she didn't like how I reacted to the texts.She said she was going to offer someone else the ticket, and I naturally thought she was going to casually ditch me and casually find some other guy. She later said she was going to give the ticket to a girl... which to me seemed like a definite lie. Like she got really mad when I texted something like, "Well why did you lead me on then if you didn't want a relationship?" I texted her that everything seems like it was a lie, and she texted back that it wouldn't have been gone if I accepted that she wanted to move slow, and she just wants to remain friends. She also thinks I need more time to heal from my ex, who cheated on me physically and emotionally before this. After my ex, I dated a girl who went on a date with me, it was perfect, but she eventually said she thought she was ready to be in a relationship, but she wants. Another girl said something similar. Another girl who I was good friends with I made out with, then she said she feels like she used me and no longer talks with me.

In general, it seems like girls want to get close to me and really like me... but then they pull back at some point. I don't understand. I feel like I'm a guy with so many great qualities, who is ready to prosper a healthy relationship, but I can't find the same reciprocity. And I'm pissed that the girl who cheated on me ditched me for her ex. Maybe I'm addicted to bad relationships? It's like one moment the woman is there, then poof, she's gone, time and time again. I feel frustrated, perhaps helpless, and angry. I'm tired of this happening to me, and it seems like I don't do anything wrong, besides maybe moving "too fast."

It seems like whatever I do, I'm failing. I get close, then the girl pulls back from me. My friend told me I should try to stay alone for a while, instead of wanting to get into a relationship.

I am intelligent, but maybe I don't value regular relationships or am just not into that, I mean I do have a really good best friend. Girls want to flirt with me or get close, but nothing more.

And if you want, you can look at my past questions to get a feel of anything else you want, like exes/girls.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She feels your relationship moved very fast. Which it did. She's being honest with you. You can recover it, but you two need to sit down and talk. Then just take it slowly. Two weeks is not enough time to get to know someone. It's enough time to get to know them sexually, but not really. You know?

    • No, her and I are not talking any longer. I thought it best that her and I no longer keep in contact. Then after my reaction, she only wanted to be friends, so I was done with her after that.

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