I recently became close with a guy in my class. He really is an introvert and often has little to nothing to say, but I think it is because he doesn't trust people.
He was in my microbiology class, and was my lab partner and we got along well. Most of the class was often us poking fun at each other, and me throwing him to the sharks because although he is smart (over a 2000 on the SAT) he doesn't really apply himself academically. The teasing was all in good fun, and we would occasionally eat dinner together and things were really light, and they do stupid things together.
We weren't overly close or anything, but we got along well. We recently went on a service trip through our school building houses together and I got to know him a lot better, and I learned that we have many things in common. The more I get to know him, the more and more of myself I in him. He is basically who I was 2 years ago after I was really struggling with the death of my father. He is just so out of it, of which what seems to be sadness. Teachers tend to go after him which isn't fair either, and I think this is part of the problem as well.
When he was a sophomore he was madly in love with a girl, and she devastatingly broke his heart. It took him close to 7 months to remotely get over her, and in the meantime he picked up some bad habits, and got himself kicked out of his then, at the time school. Since that happened, I don't think he has really, truly trusted anyone since. He has since gone to 3 schools total, and just came to the school we both attend as a senior (I am a junior who just came as well). He didn’t really transition well into the school, and eventually found himself in a group of jocks/(douche bags) because they kind of accepted him and do the same (bad) recreational activities he does. Which is fine, I don’t judge him or anything-- its his choice what he does, but I of course feel he deserves far greater friends than that. I assume he enjoys their company also because they don’t ask him about his personal life, which he kind of steers away from talking about.
So on the trip I learned all these things about him, some of which no one here really knows. During that time the teasing continued back and forth, but there were also moments where he was really sweet. He would go day to day from being really engaging, to being completely secluded from people. A couple nights I stayed up late talking to him and I really learned a lot about him. We both have the some of the same issues for different reasons, and I feel like we became closer.
There was one night on the trip we were trying to engage him into the group and someone asked him opinion on boob jobs. It was all in good fun, but he seriously said that he wouldn’t answer because I was there. He was afraid I would judge him for his response (of course which I knew the answer) because over the past week we had formed some sort of friendship and didn’t want to mess with whatever was going on between us.
He is really frustrated with the fact that girls keep getting involved with him expecting more than just friendship, because he really hasn’t wanted anything more. Though he has had 8 or so short relationships this year alone, so I really don’t know what that is about. He says they kind of just throw themselves at him (he’s pretty easy on the eyes), and he just picks the prettiest one; to which I didn’t judge, but of course didn’t agree with.
His friendship means a lot to me, but it’s getting very hard to keep on with, and I worry that he’s going to keep drifting down this spiral he’s on. He seems like he really wants to talk to me, but just can’t trust me, and I don’t know how to get him to trust me.
He’s the kind of person that I can tell exactly what he’s thinking just by the expression on his face and the way he looks at me.