He groped his ex girlfriend, should we have intervened as both their friends?

I went out with a group of mates and my friends ex girlfriend was there. You could feel tension between them. She tried to avoid any form of conversation with her ex and spoke to other people. To cut a long story short we went to some gig and my friends ex was there. He started poking her messing around and she got annoyed with him. He then grabbed her by the arm and started to touch her up he had a bit too much to drink but no excuse (obviously she was on his mind). She pulled away from him and then he groped her and tried to touch her up again, she pushed him off her. After that you felt a tension between them and he kept staring at her (We thought at first they were messing around with each other but she wasn't). My friend broke up with her but it seems like he has problems with moving on. What can I say to my friend about his behavior and how can I intervene should something like this reoccur? His ex girlfriend was really upset by his behavior towards her and we tried to take her mind of it.


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  • When your friend is sane, then talk to him about it. Don't let him do this. You need to help him move on. Try getting his mind off things. If he can't let go, he has to learn, because he can't assault her like that.

    If you ever see this happen again, then you need to intervene. You can't let the ex handle it by herself. How would you feel if someone started grabbing you and touching you, regardless of whether or not that person is drunk? Being drunk does not make your friend exempt from the consequences of harassment. I'm sure that the girl could report your friend for harassment if she wanted to.

    • We will intervene next time, he did step out of line and it was wrong that we did not help her, but at the time we didn't know what to do. He needs to let go and accept that she has no interest in him.

    • I know. It is hard though. It is a struggle between friends. This is why drinking really gets people to forget their reasoning sometimes.

    • Yeah it is difficult when it's friends but it's no excuse for his behavior . The intentions were there regardless of drink. It's his lost and he should deal with it.

  • You should really intervene. It's clear that your friend doesn't like being disrespected by her ex.

    • They're both our friends, but he did step out of line, we just didn't know what to do at the time. But next time we will intervene. I think that as his friends maybe we should talk to him too.

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