Should I tell her bf?

This girl I know posts nudes on her blog and plans to cheat on her boyfriend (my best friend) with one guy in particular who she met online...her boyfriend doesn't know and they're relationship is not open like that. I was thinking of just anonymously sending him the link and that's all, nothing else, so he knows and can see the proof...

It's hard to pick the right thing to do, I guess there really is no right way which is why I try to pretend like I don't know. On the one hand, it's not supposed to be my business, generally people hate when others get involved, but on the other, he should know what she's doing, because if no one else knows then she's just going to get away with it.I can do nothing or I can do something...I don't know. I'm losing sleep about this because I mean he's my best friend. He doesn't recognize the signs and I'm worried she'll just keep cheating. Have you been in a similar situation? Realistically what would you do? Help Please...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I generally feel the way you do about it not being your business except under a few circumstances. 1)The person is your family member 2) The cheating could affect you in some way or force you to lie and 3) The person is your closest friend.

    For everyone else, I'm sorry to say I don't get involved even if I know the people being cheated on. I did that once before and it ended up being me that got in trouble, while the two of them stayed together. Only family and my best friend is worth sticking my neck out for.

    Or, in this other case, my coworker is cheating on her husband and has been using me as her alibi without my consent since I don't know her husband well. This bothered me as I never agreed to participate in this lying game she created, and had no intentions to lie to her husband if he ever asked me directly. This last time, she almost got caught, and actually alluded to the idea that I drug her to a party where I cheated on my boyfriend ( don't cheat, for the record). That was sort of the final straw and I told her I'd tell him exactly where I was that night (at home with my boyfriend) if he ever asked.

    Usually it's best to stay out of it, bu in your circumstance, I think it's best to tell your friend about it, if he's really your closest friend.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I think you have the right idea to anonymously send him the link. I feel like it would be better for him to find out now than to find out later that she has been sleeping with other people.

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  • Well, I think you should let your best friend know this about what his girlfriend's doing, because this is what friends do. Please feel free to let him know. It's good for him and he'll really appreciate what you do for him.

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  • You need to tell your best friend what she is doing to her boyfriend is very very wrong. No one deserves that. You need to tell her that she needs to be faithful, or break up with him and then go have sex with whoever because cheating isn't the answer. Why show him when you can prevent him from having a broken heart and being cheated on. It's the right thing to do.

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  • I can understand that you don't want to get into somebody else's business, but consider these questions:

    1) How would you feel if she cheated, you said nothing and he contracted an STD?

    2)Do you think you'd still be friends if you allow the girlfriend to cheat, say nothing and later your friend catches her and finds out you knew and left him in the dark with his health, emotions and pride at risk?

    3) If you were in the same situation would you want somebody who's supposed to be a friend looking out for you by telling you the truth whether it's what you want to hear at the moment or not?

    4) You said he's your best friend. Does your friend mean enough to you to risk your friendship if it means you're certain his health wouldn't be compromised in the future and he'll find somebody else who would give him the respect of being loyal?

    The decision is yours to make, but if it were me, I'd let my best friend know the second I felt she was in danger.

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  • Send him the link anon. You never know how someone will take that info, but it's better he at least knows and makes a decision then finding out later.

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  • yeah he might shoot the messenger even though he shouldn't you never know how someone will handle this kinda information...send the link anon... I think that way you're making sure your buddy knows and he can do with it what he wishes without you actually being involved as outing her. Later after he's dumped her and is over her if something comes up about it you can confess you did it cause you werent sure how to handle it with him(or not). your conscious will at least be clear that you did your part to give him the info...how he chooses to deal with it will be up to him at that point and he can still feel like it's not something between you two.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This is not the best position to be in. I understand your dilemma and it's so difficult to figure out what to do simply for the fact that it will hurt either way.

    For one, generally it isn't really any business of yours directly, however this is your best friend. You have to ask yourself three major questions. One, how is he going to feel if you don't tell him? What if you choose not to inform him and she cheats on him. Wouldn't it hurt if he found out later on down the road and has even more emotions invested into this girl and into the relationship?

    Secondly, what if he finds out on his own that you somehow knew about it but didn't tell him? He will not only feel betrayed by her, but he will also feel betrayed by you. It may even put your friendship in jeopardy.

    The thing is, if he's doing right by the girl, he really doesn't deserve the betrayal she is bestowing upon him. Even if she hasn't yet had an affair outside of the relationship, she is still cheating by posting intimate pictures online for the world to see. Perhaps some of those people who has seen these pictures are co-workers, other acquaintances of him, possibly even relatives, some of who are either getting a good laugh at his expense or pondering the way to tell him.

    I know it's going to hurt him to find out either way, so I think it will be best to let him know as soon as possible in order to minimize the damage of a broken heart. The longer he is in the dark, the longer he thinks he has a girlfriend who cares about him, the longer and deeper he will fall for her when in reality he deserves better.

    One final question you need to ask yourself is, what if the roles were reversed. If he had knowledge of a girl you were in a relationship with trying to have an affair and posting naked pictures without your knowledge, would you rather be kept in the dark compromising your feelings or would you rather be told?

    It's not an easy choice, but either way he's going to suffer some pain if he is serious about this girl. I would recommend that you find the easiest way (though there is no easy way) to inform him of the knowledge, especially since you currently have visual proof to collaborate the claim. If you wait, she could catch wind and destroy any evidence to collaborate the claim.

    Trust me, if he is a true best friend, he will not like what you're telling him, but he will appreciate the fact that you did.

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  • I'm just going to put it short and simple for you: Bros don't leave their other bros hanging. Just let him know but tell him to not take action about it just yet. Then when everything is set in stone that's when he breaks it to her. Just gotta take things one at a time and step by step. Taking everything all at once can be too much or overwhelming. You got this bro.

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  • Bros before hos.

    What kind of best friend would you be if you didn't tell him? You owe no allegiance to his whore of a girlfriend. TELL HIM!

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