I love my boyfriend, but I think I'm getting stuck on feelings I have for a friend?

Firstly, please let me be very clear that I would never cheat. I have also always held the view that if your with someone and have feelings for another you should leave, as your heart isn't fully with them...but now it's reality and things seem so much harder.

I have been with my boyfriend around 3 months. He makes me laugh a lot and I really do care about him. At the same time, I have a friend who I met about a year ago, around the same time I met my boyfriend. We get along vey well, catch up pretty regularly and also email quite often. I did have feelings for him before I got with my boyfriend, and often questioned if he liked me back but neither of us made a move. He would hint he liked me, then suggest we where only friends.

In three months I have already had problems with my boyfriend. He picks at me about small things, has met up with an ex without telling me. He has made me cry on more than one occasion, he shows no remorse for it. If I bring up an issue (such as his yelling at me) he try's to turn in on me. My family don't like him, although they have never met, only going off what I say of him.

They adore my friend, who they have also never met. Seeing photos of us, they say we where made for each other. When I told him I was with someone he said 'Im actually kinda jealous I'm not the main man in your life anymore' I couldn't tell if he was joking. He later kept asking how we met and stuff. He would randomly ask, like the topic was bothering him.

My boyfriend doesn't like my friendship with him. though he hasn't requested I end it, he has said how he thinks we're too close. He has told me not to tell him about any problems we have, even though he tells all his mates. I don't have close girlfriends, just guys, and this leaves me with no one to talk things over with but my mum (who is rooting for a break up between us).

I don't know what to think. I thought I was happy in this relationship, but today was the first I'd seen my friend since entering it (both been busy) and now I'm crying and I don't know what I feel. Does anyone have any suggestions? Or just comments even. I feel a little lost as I never thought I'd be in this situation.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well by reading everything you said on here - let me ask you this question: Why are you still with him? Lol Just leave his ass and sit down and talk to your friend that you have feelings for before it's too late

    • I don't want to just up and leave, I really do are about him. I have bought up issues with him, like how he gets mad at me for now reason. I broke down the other day and told him I couldn't do it. He got really upset and cried about how he loved me. I know he cares, just obviously doesn't think there is a problem with how he shows it. I just don't know how to feel :(

    • You don't need that girl :) you need to be happy with your relationship and have fun

    • I know I don't. He does make me really happy though when we're having fun, he can make me laugh with pretty much everything he says... Thank you for your help :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your boyfriend is showing some insecurity/red flag behaviors. Even if this old friend wasn't stirring up feelings...the boyfriend isn't exactly acting the way you'd need him to.


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