Heart broken but can't express it.

My relationship was confusing so f you want to understand it better you can read about it in another question of mine but pretty much my boyfriend and I called it quits. I'm really really sad inside but can't convey it. Or let it out. How can I start getting over this? He got me through a lot of really crappy things and treated me better than any man in my life. I broke up with my ex because he became a jerk but this is different. Advice appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry to hear that. I know from previous interactions that you are a very passionate person, and felt quite strongly about him, so I'm sure you're probably in a very down place right now.

    But, there is an upside. I know it may not seem that way and maybe you don't even believe it exists right now, but it does. I certainly know how that feels. Every time I felt that heart ache, it was very hard to see the other side of the equation, even when I knew it was true.

    You two weren't a good fit and it didn't work out. That is bound to happen and it is always going to suck, especially when you genuinely care about the person. But eventually you're going to move on, realize there's something even better out there waiting for you, and everything is going to be alright. This probably seems unlikely or impossible right now, but if it didn't, it wouldn't be heart break.

    I can recall the times I thought that this person was it. Fearing that I was never going to come as close to something meaningful as I did with that person. That I had reached that relationship peak. That irreplaceable connection that will never be replicated, never recreated. I couldn't imagine anything better and I think that's pretty normal, especially the first few times I went through it at a young age.

    But of course, I was wrong. I hadn't reached that "peak" and the new connections I could potentially make was only limited by my own desire or lack thereof to do so. Yes, you aren't going to replicate what you had with that guy, but you're not supposed to. Things didn't work out, you're supposed to learn from it and go find something better. The fact there is something better waiting for you out there is proven by the simple fact this didn't work out. With the billions of people out there in the world, the reality is there is likely not just one but MANY people out there who you will fit with amazingly. Then there will be exponentially many more who you will work out with really well, a few minor kinks but nothing a little communication won't overcome, things still work out wonderfully. Then there's a group larger STILL that will work well, though you'll have some struggles, but things will work out with effort.

    This guy you're with, he falls in some category below all three of those (since things didn't work out and you weren't a good fit). So if you thought things were wonderful with this guy, you haven't seen anything yet.

    In life, bad things happen. Sad reality. Good things though, they come in the form of opportunity. The difference between a rich life of the ups and downs or a life of nothing but trying times is well, you. So don't be sad, your future is too bright.

    • I'm not one to believe that I can't find another person but I know he won't stay for good. My relationships with every person I've known have been nomadic. Not one person stays for long. Yes, that includes my mother and father.

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    • I get why you'd feel that way, but it's not going to do anything but leave you feeling alone. Sometimes you have to fly in the face of what you feel and think.

    • Maybe someday I will but I can't right now. I don't really even feel like thinking about it honestly

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What Guys Said 8

  • Hun stop and exhale a deep breath while closing your eyes. "Ask out loud Help me heal"

    Then cry when you need to cry, talk when you need to talk (this is a great place for venting).hang with friends and fam if helpful. Or do what I do or did and draw !

    No contact with that poor soul who lost you. Do your self and when in pain say out loud to" help me" I did that over and over until enough time passed in sessions it will creep back so just repeat.

    Then when you are ready you will go through the proper stages of grieving. When you get to acceptance you will realize You deserve better and that doors need to close for other paths to cross yours. There is something better waiting for you. God is preparing him for you as we speak or I type whatever you prefer. Doesn't mean it will happen right away but the sooner you get to acceptance the sooner your life will be fulfilled. I feel it. I sense happiness for you. but do yourself that favor and allow the pain to come through you. ask for guidance and you will receive it!

    good luck beautiful :),

  • i have lived with my boyfriend for over three years now, we started having problem for the first time two months ago after he attended a birthday party in California, this brought serious matters in our relationship until it went for the drains, I love her so much that I picked up a serious fight with my brother when he told me dirty things about her,this lingered for almost two weeks, but believe me those two weeks were the worst weeks I have ever lived, because it was without her, I got frustrated, until a friend introduce me to a spell caster online, I never for once believed in spell casting. being that there was no other alternative, I consulted the spell caster, he(spell caster) assured me that my ex will surely come back begging after he finish casting the spell. to my greatest surprise three days after the spell casting I received a phone call from my ex, he begged that I should forgive him for all the wrong things he did, I swore that never in his life will he ever repeat such a thing again, since then till now I have been experiencing a better relationship, all thanks to Dr Yoguda. get him on his email address:holytrinitytemple200@gmail.com. he will be of help okay

  • I'm reading your question and I'm getting a very strong feeling that you're not over with your relationship. I fully believe what you wrote and that you genuinely believe it's over. But this strong feeling is telling me it's not. Could this be true? I've never had this reaction to a GAG question before it's liike some wacky spirit is whispering to my subconscious brain.

    I'm so sorry for your hurt. Please accept a symbolic {{{{hug}}}}.

    • That I may not be done with him? W still love each other but he's moving away for two years. Perhaps if we connected when we got back but I'm not going to wait and neither is he anymore... So I hope your feeling is right but not likely

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    • It sounds like you could benefit from taking some time out just for you to help your heart heal. My concern for you is that you may be inclined to harden your heart to the extreme. I've seen too many people that won't love again and they become really nasty bitter old people. You have too much to live and to give.

    • I know I don't want I be that way but I seriously don't feel like going through this again. I am not exaggerating when I say every person I've know has left me at some point in my life. From boyfriends to parents to everything in between.

  • Hello again :)

    I'm sorry to hear that your feeling this way and wish I could help, but unfortunately I've never dated anyone... (yes I am that lame...).

    I'm not going to suggest anything cliched or cheesy, the other members can do that this time :P

    You say on your profile that your'e very artistic? Maybe you could help express yourself through poetry, painting or music?

    I had a friend online who struggled to share his feelings and continuously would bottle up everything until it overwhelmed him. As soon as he began expressing himself via guitar, he changed completely! He seemed so much calmer and would often say how when he is alone and down, he can just focus on the music, zoning out until the negative emotions subsided.

    I'm sorry I can't help you much this time.

    Best Wishes


  • Sadness is painful. You feel like not showing anybody because you don't want to be seen as weak. You feel that you can only let it out when you're by yourself. You feel that the only time you can remember good times is when you wallow in your misery. This is what I have felt before.

    I don't know if this is what you are feeling, but you need to get help. Sometimes relationships move to fast and hurt too many people. I guess this is why my culture doesn't believe in dating at a young age. Breaking up hurts. Sadness doesn't go away that easily. It can even take years. Get help!

  • You can't just let the feeling go. Talk things out with him and try to work it out.

  • Simply start thinking about him.

    Sit down and write down what you're feeling. It can be on some kind of poem.

    Find another guy of interest.

  • I'm sure I don't need to tell you it won't be easy. One thing that makes me feel better is to write and listen to music. The music helps give me a calm head and writing allows me to get my emotions and feelings out of my system. Another thing is to have a hobby or work you can immerse yourself in so you don't have time to think about it. Well assuming you can focus. And lastly...if you have someone you can talk to and maybe swap stories and advice, that would help a lot.

    Hope you feel better


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