How do I handle it when girls automatically assume my boyfriend isn't?

I'm 46 and my guy is 31. We've been dating for 8 years and things are amazing. Here's the thing. When we go out together, other women just assume he is my son or nephew. When he goes to the restroom, or to get drinks, whatever, I have these women come over and ask for my son's phone number. I tell them he is not my son he is my boyfriend and I get "the look". That look that says what the hell is he doing with you? I'm not beautiful, but I'm no dog either. When he comes back to the table, I've had them actually give him their phone number right in front of me! He, of course, politely says no. This happens every time we go out together. He's built, smart, incredible handsome and has this warm personality. How do I handle these women who just don't believe he could be with someone like me and insists on openly flirting and propositioning him? When we are out together, you can tell we are a couple. He holds my hand, had his arm around me, kisses me. I try to be a lady and politely tell them to back off but when they don't listen to me and he tells them the same thing, but they continue, what should I do then?
Updates:
The age difference is a factor, I accept that. I feel a sense of pride that women find my guy attractive, and I agree with the responses that there isn't much I can really do about it. We went out last night, and were having a nice dinner...just talking and relaxing. This woman comes up to the table, writes her number down on a napkin and told my boyfriend that if he got tired of "old and boring" and wanted a woman who was "not an embarrassement and hot in bed" to call her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In all fairness, I really don't see that much of an issue with the age difference, and while I wish I had some really stunning advice on how to deal with this issue. I fear I don't. The only thing I can offer is for you to not worry about it, I know it must be irritating, however I would consider it somewhat flattering that there are so many women after your man, granted I can't say I would feel the same way if all the guys were after my girlfriend. One last thought, it seems to me that all the younger women approaching your boyfriend don't seem to have any self respect, class or both. I say this because even when I was single, if I was attracted to somebody else's girl, I stayed away, and if I made the mistake of approaching a woman who was in a committed relationship I would have had the decency to apologize, and then leave her alone. I suggest this because it sounds to me like you are a woman of substance, and you have something all these other women can't seem to offer, so I would not worry so much about these other women. It sounds like you two have a secure relationship. Kudos to you BTW, I hope this helps some.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Just be flattered because other woman are jealous and are willing to step up and try to take him away from you. This aught to be a sign telling you that you need to be better than your competition in all ways possible. If the woman are asking for his phone number because they think you are his mom or aunt. Look into facial exercises to improve your facial muscle tone.

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  • well I suppose this may be more of an issue for you because of the age difference, but I know I've dealt with this problem in some relationships as well

    For me I get a little jealous but I think I try to balance that with an amount flattery or stroking of my ego. Your dude is a hot commodity be flattered that all sorts of girls want him but he's only got eyes for you. You can't really do much more than politely tell people that he is your boyfriend so other than that you would just have to change your outlook and mental response

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    • again aside from beating up every person there really isn't much you can do. be flattered that they find him attracted and let it be a stroke to your ego that he chooses you over all of them... I understand your anger and frustation but aside from - locking him in a box with one way mirrors so nobody can see him, putting explosives inside him that detonate whenever someone approaches, or keep a knife in your purse and stab people who ask you about him - there isn't a ton you can do

  • Be more physical in public and make it obvious that he is your man

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  • I'm really curious for a picture of you two...

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  • Goodluck

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  • It has become normal, for women to look down on anyone that dates a younger person.

    Older woman and younger guy, causes women to become jealous that the woman has better dating options than they do.

    Older man and younger woman causes women to become intimidated to see a man the feel is beneath them, to get a woman that is more attractive than they are.

    In both cases it causes some women to question their own value. I have dated older women in the past, and seen the same thing happen. It doesn't effect most women, but the women that it does bother, can be very vocal about it.

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  • Haha, 8 years? You dirty little cougar, you.

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    • He approached me and asked me out. I'm just as surprised that it's lasted 8 years.

  • How about dressing your man in 50 year old clothes?

    That should repel them away, at least.

    And, simply be happy that girls are still attracted to your guy. It means that he's really a good catch for you.

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What Girls Said 7

  • OH MY GOSH THESE WOMEN ARE A BUNCH OF SLUTTY DOGS!

    Sorry for my little outburst there. I hate bitches like that and it is women like those that make it hard for the rest of us! I mean how dare they do that in front of you!

    Look, there isn't anything you can do. If a woman wants to be a freaking slut, then let her be a slut. There isn't anything you can do and I admire that your man has the courage and is manly enough to say no. I mean come on, there has got to be something amazing about you in order for him to be head over heels in love with you.

    Let me tell you a story. My mum had the same problem as you. My dad is good looking and he always has women crawling all over him and they dress sexy in front of him. Anyway, he was once betrothed to another lady but she didn't want anything to do with dad at first. Then when he got married, she tried to seduce him and on the day of his wedding (I saw the video), she was belly dancing sooooooooooooooooo sexaully that she could have made stripper blush. But what did my mum do? She didn't give a crap. She just looked at the other woman with a huuuuuuuuuge grin on her face that read "there isn't anything you can do anymore ho, he is mine and you are just a single bitter bitch". I mean my mums smile was so malicious.

    My mum told me to never EVER let your man see that you are threatened or jealous. They will respect you even more. I have had boyfriends and women are just dogs you know? I just look like I am not threatened by them. Just remember that you might not think that you are beautiful but in his eyes you might be the sexiest woman in the face of the earth, hence why he always says no to the other women who think they are beautiful (as if) because he is utterly enthralled by you.

    Don't say back off because that will encourage them even more. You know what I would do? I would say "sorry but he he my man" and when they give him your number, then you must must MUST laugh. That will intimidate them and they will think that they aren't worth your time.

    Good luck xoxoxox

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    • And as one lady said, where the hell do you hang out to get skanky women like these? what are they? In high school? Oh and as for this woman who thinks she isn't an embarrassment, you should have said to her "Well, don't hold your breath" .

  • Ignore them. Don't stoop down to their level because it'll be a waste of time and effort. You have better things to do and think about so, live your life and make them jealous of your situation as it is ;D

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  • Wow, that is hard on the self esteem but don't worry honey, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE AND A LADY, that is why he is with you. It is hard to ignore or avoid those hunters but you must be a prize for him so I would take it with prize that he is with YOU!

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  • Be more physically affectionate in public. Hold hands. Sit close together. You know, stuff you wouldn't do with your adult son.

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    • We do hold hands, when he holds my chair for me to sit he strokes my hair or cheek before he sits down. He kisses me in public. I don't get irate or make a scene and these women have done this in restaraunts, coffee shops, etc. I do enjoy the fact they find him so attractive and I know who he goes home with at night. It's just frustrating that they still do this even when the obvious is right in front of them

  • where in the world are you hanging out for women to act like that? that's absurd and who cares about your relationship or age difference with him? these women sound pathetic. not to mention desperate. your relationship with your boyfriend is between you and him. not them! that's just down right rude for another woman to act like that towards another woman. totally unlady like and that's probably why he's with you. take care sweetie :o)

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  • Just ignore them. I understand you feel sad when stuff like that happens, and it's not fun ofcourse that they give you "the look", but honestly, try to brush it off and don't care about them. YOU are the one who's in a happy relationship, YOU are happy with your guy, and you should be proud of that! :D These women act a little silly if you ask me, I mean, I'm sure they saw you sitting with him, and then when he goes to the restroom or to get drinks, they just come over to you and ask for his number? I find that a little desperate and pathetic.

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  • Unfortunately (even though I'm the younger of the two in my relationship), girls still hit on my boyfriend right in front of me. Some apologize when they realize we're together, others act like it's more of an "oops" but flirt with him from afar anyway.

    I can imagine it's increased in your relationship simply because of the age difference (again, unfortunately), but aside from doing what you're doing (especially acting like a couple), I'm not sure what else can be done. A lot of men and women out there don't have respect for relationships.

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