A little bit of background. My girlfriend (maybe ex-GF now...) had a previous relationship where the guy was possessive and controlling, and it made her miserable.
So everything was amazing until last week.
I couldn't get hold of my girlfriend at all (turns out she was out - duh... I just didn't know)
A combination of stress in my new job, and a little bit of panicking because I was in another country meant that I left her a properly grumpy message.
She, bearing in mind the ex and her need for space (which we sort of discussed before), hit the eject button, fearing I was becoming like that. Lots of "I need my space, you don't trust me, I feel like I can't go out, etc."
Not me. Not at all. Honestly. I know there are a few things that I can work on, but I'm not that possessive guy. But because of the way I was thinking, I didn't consider the way she was thinking.
Anyway, she was saying things like "you mean so so much to me and I'm falling in love with you, but I just can't go through something like this again."
I think I managed to, bearing in mind this was on the phone, at least get her to think about her decision to end it all, but she did say at the end "I really don't think I'm going to change my mind."
Me, utterly devastated, sent her a message later that night, which basically said, "I'm sorry, I panicked, you know I want you to have space and your own life, etc."
I then sent her another one two days later after I'd had some time to think, where I could see EXACTLY where I had gone wrong. I mean, EXACTLY. And now I know what it is, I can fix it. And critically, not do it again. But I need that chance...
So, she's away now with her parents on holiday, hopefully "thinking things through."
I wasn't expecting to hear from her until after Easter, but I got a message on Monday saying, "I'm about to leave for Oman. Hope you have a good Easter. xxx" (Which I assume is a good thing? Girl telling you she needs space to think but then talks to you?)
I sent her a simple one back - "thanks, you too. Have a good holiday. xxx" Nothing more, I've said everything I can.
Basically, I've asked her for another chance because it wasn't me at all - I was just stressed and panicking a bit. But now I'm terrified she won't give me another chance, and throw it all away. I think if we could sit down and talk, we could reconcile, but I'm afraid she won't want to.
There we go.
Is it over completely? Or do you think she'll want to talk when she's back and hopefully try and give things another go?
And for the love of God, slap me, because I need to man up and stop worrying so much.
(The problem is, I do love the girl. Genuinely and utterly. Hence the panic now that she won't give me another chance...)
P.s. Less the response to the message she sent me, I have given her the space so far, and haven't messaged her on holiday, despite every fibre of my being wanting to...
Most Helpful Girl
If this was an isolated incident, she is for sure overreacting. You admitted you're wrong and you apologized. There's nothing wrong with being worried about where your girlfriend is when you can't get ahold of her. She is reacting in this way for one of the following reasons:
1) she is looking for a reason to break up with you because she doesn't have feelings for you and wants you to be the bad guy in the situation. I don't think this is the case because of the text that she sent you during the holidays
2) she is playing a head game with you. She's trying to gauge your feelings by how hard you try to "get her back" per say. Pushing her limits to see how far she can go.
3) she is holding on to some serious baggage with her ex. She wants to be able to go out and party and not have to answer to anyone. This is entirely selfish.
So she's either a coward, immature, or psycho. Now this is all dependent on whether this was the first time it happened and how "grumpy" you were in your message.0