Do you think moving in before being married is a good or bad idea?

Just looking into the past and doing some guess work, I see myself having my own place in about two years (after graduating from college). I also see myself still with my current boyfriend, however I don't see us being married.

If in 2 years I do have my own place, I personally wouldn't mind living with him. However, my parents would never, ever approve. In fact, they would probably never talk to me again -____-

Do you think moving in together before getting married is such a bad idea? Why? I wouldn't mind being married first, but at the same time, if we aren't married, I wouldn't really care either.

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  • I always like to try before I buy. My wife and I lived together for 2 years before we married. Been married for 20 years now. No regrets.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Let me add perhaps a different perspective.

    If you've never lived with ANYONE as a romantic couple, it's going to be a very new and different experience, one with up-sides and down-sides, many of which you may not realize yet. Once you live with someone, you REALLY come to understand how important COMPATIBILITY is. It's easy to ignore compatibility problems when you are just dating someone; you simply learn not to talk about or deal with those issues when you are together, waiting until you each go home before you address them. When you live together, there's no running from those issues any longer, they hit you right in the face, and you HAVE to deal with them.

    For that reason, IMO, it's better to live with someone first, even if that relationship doesn't work out, because even if that relationship fails, you will learn a LOT about what is really important, and are likely to make a much better decision in the future.

    I'm sure your parents will keep talking to you. They might not approve, but you are an adult and can make your own decisions. You have to do what's right for you, and you can let them make those decisions for you anymore. Just make sure you are making smart, rational decisions, and it sounds like you are.

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  • I don't think it is a problem moving in together before you are married. It would give you a good idea to see what it is like sharing living space together and getting that "married feel" without being married yet. If living together doesn't work, or each is still looking for their own freedoms, they might not be ready for that marriage commitment yet.

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  • There are millions of thing whereby you can`t get answer of it and over your situation there`s not any preferable answer as moving in with your boyfriend would be gratifying or contradict move for you .. Sometimes in life you have to give a chance to others as per taking risk to get an answer. Not all fingers are same ; For some couples it works out and for some it couldn`t .. So whatever you do just make sure you feel right and comfy with it ... Act wisely

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  • My wife and I started dating in 1967, lived together 2 years, then married and we are still a happy couple.

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  • Yes. I think it's important. You'll get to know a lot of their habits and behaviors. This important if you plan on being with this person forever.

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  • no its a good idea. because then you know his habits and all that and you can break up with him before you tie the knot.

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  • Many studies are clouded with facts that interfere with the results. I have heard the divorce rate is higher for those who live together first. I really don't believe it is a bad thing. I think to truly know someone and to know if you can tolerate living with someone is by actually living with someone. 5 star question and I will not this and come back to see the rest of the answers.

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    • I heard that too and that's the only thing that would not let him move in with me. I'm the kinda person that does not believe in divorce. I think once you're married, you have made a permanent commitment and there's really no going back.

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    • Thank you so much :)

    • :)

  • I think it's better to live together first. Because you can be in a really long relationship and still not know all of the little habits and idiosyncrasies that the other person may have at home. You may not like their little quirks and it could be a deal breaker.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Personally I'd rather live together first. You'll learn a lot more about each other that way and have a chance to see what living together is like before taking the big plunge. If I never lived with my ex first I just might have married him and that would've been horrible! I've been living with my current boyfriend for the last year and things are still great so I know we'd probably be very happy if we got married.

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  • I think it's an excellent idea to move in with someone before marrying them. That way you can see what if you two can live together without growing to hate one another, lol. You can see how successfully you two can take on life together as a couple. And if it doesn't work.. you can break up without it being as messy as going through a divorce.

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  • Good idea.

    If you can't live with the person, you certainly shouldn't marry them.

    And after all, you have no idea what little annoying habits they may have. They may have a deal breaker for one. It'll be less pain in the long run. No nasty divorce, no regretting that big day and the money spent. Just easier.

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  • It could be a good idea or it could be a bad idea, but this is my way of looking at it, If you really love him and want to be married, and you trust him no matter what, then stay with him before marriage.

    If you are unsure of him then don't move in.

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  • I think it's a bad idea

    I just believe most couples who move in together before marriage do so for the wrong reasons. I want to be 100% sure that I'm doing it for the right reasons.

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  • Parents don't like it because it's assumed that if you live together, then you're sleeping together. Which is probably accurate most of the time haha. Personally, I'm saving sex for marriage, so it's doubtful that I'd live with a guy before getting married. If I do, I'm gonna be all dumb and uptight haha, locking the door when I shower and not letting him see me get dressed. :P

    Anyways, your parents will probably loosen up once you move out. I think you need to live on your own a while before they'll start to see you as an adult.

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  • I heard it is bad because you are comfortable without the commitment.

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  • I've talked to a couple people about this and the only people that have had a problem with it have been people that stick to very traditional values (i.e., no cohabitating until you're married) or they're especially religious.

    I personally would prefer to move in with a guy before getting married. There's just some things that come out in a person at home that you don't see otherwise, and in my opinion it's better to be aware of them than marry someone and find out who they can be later. Plus, you need to see if the two of you really mesh! Mild example, but would if you're very organized and he has a tendency to be messy at home, how much is that going to bother you?

    Think about it being almost like test driving a car... you wouldn't commit to buying it if you never gave it a test drive, would you?

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  • Good idea. Best to find out if you're truly compatible or not before getting married

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  • It depends. It can go either way. Depends on your personalities and the circumstances. It can be good because you can understand how each other are before you get married and what it's like and it can be bad because too much of each other is no good and and moving in before marriage you may get sick of them especially since the first year of marriage is the hardest. Personally if you two work well with each other and don't argue I do not see a problem with moving in before.

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  • i don't like the idea personally

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  • It's a guaranteed step for me. We'll date, then we'll get serious, then we'll move in together, then marriage. My mother also doesn't approve, she says it's a pathetic excuse to avoid commitment. I completely disagree. I can't imagine agreeing to spend my life with someone without living with him first. It'd be like buying a car without test driving it - not smart.

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