Two years ago I got really close to my step-father's nephew(I'll use the name Bob). I never had a boyfriend before and never actually hung out with guys who weren't family. But with 'Bob', everything was different. I use to see him everyday. He took me to work, took me to school, picked me up from both, brought me food without me having to ask, he just did a lot of things that I weren't use to guys, who weren't family, doing for me. I really started growing love and care for him. The day I realized that I really only wanted to be with him was the day he had gave me my first kiss. After that I felt like he was the one, and this was who I wanted to be with forever. But that same day he got sent to jail. I was hurt and couldn't understand how to go a day without seeing or talking to the person who I considered a best friend. It was weird being able to talk to someone and seeing someone whenever to not being able to. After a week of writing letters and waiting for collect calls, and finding out he was going to spend a year in jail, I realized that wasn't the life I wanted. We weren't together and apart of me felt like no matter how much he cared for me, I didn't believe he would be faithful. I knew the streets was his way of life and if I ended up with him I was only gonna be hurt in the end so I stopped writing and speaking to him.
I ended up moving out of town and a year later he was released. I told his uncle that I didn't want to speak with Bob and I didn't want to any messages sent from him to me. I knew I was going to soon go back to visit this summer so I thought That it would just be better to wait to talk to him until then.
Two nights ago I received a call that 'Bob' was killed. All I could do was cry.
Why did I have to be so stupid? Why couldn't I just talk to him? All I want now is to hear his voice, hug and kiss him one last time but I can't. I was dumb and I know it but how do I fix the pain? Advice, please!
This is under break up category cause this is what it feels like...
Most Helpful Guy
That's really very unfortunate.
You should just take blame for your actions, and simply move on with life.
There are still a lot of living people whom you can still shower with your love.0