Help.. I'm hurting and don't know how to fix it!

Two years ago I got really close to my step-father's nephew(I'll use the name Bob). I never had a boyfriend before and never actually hung out with guys who weren't family. But with 'Bob', everything was different. I use to see him everyday. He took me to work, took me to school, picked me up from both, brought me food without me having to ask, he just did a lot of things that I weren't use to guys, who weren't family, doing for me. I really started growing love and care for him. The day I realized that I really only wanted to be with him was the day he had gave me my first kiss. After that I felt like he was the one, and this was who I wanted to be with forever. But that same day he got sent to jail. I was hurt and couldn't understand how to go a day without seeing or talking to the person who I considered a best friend. It was weird being able to talk to someone and seeing someone whenever to not being able to. After a week of writing letters and waiting for collect calls, and finding out he was going to spend a year in jail, I realized that wasn't the life I wanted. We weren't together and apart of me felt like no matter how much he cared for me, I didn't believe he would be faithful. I knew the streets was his way of life and if I ended up with him I was only gonna be hurt in the end so I stopped writing and speaking to him.

I ended up moving out of town and a year later he was released. I told his uncle that I didn't want to speak with Bob and I didn't want to any messages sent from him to me. I knew I was going to soon go back to visit this summer so I thought That it would just be better to wait to talk to him until then.

Two nights ago I received a call that 'Bob' was killed. All I could do was cry.

Why did I have to be so stupid? Why couldn't I just talk to him? All I want now is to hear his voice, hug and kiss him one last time but I can't. I was dumb and I know it but how do I fix the pain? Advice, please!

This is under break up category cause this is what it feels like...


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's really very unfortunate.

    You should just take blame for your actions, and simply move on with life.

    There are still a lot of living people whom you can still shower with your love.


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