Should I break up with my boyfriend?:(

:( I really don't know what to do. I'm not sure if its time to break it off or to keep being with him. I've been thinking bout this for almost 3 weeks.

Some of the reasons I think its best is because we barley see each other (he works a lot & go to different school), our main form of comm is texting, seems like I'm making the most effort & I'm getting tired. I still like him a lot but recently I think the spark between us is fading. :/ I feel like he's losing interest and that just hurts me more.

Hes my very first boyfriend, we Haven't kissed, I'm 17 & he's 18. Its going to be 3 months tomorrow. What should I do?
  • Yes, you should break up with him
    Vote A
  • No, you should work it out with him & not break up :)
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want to make it work you need to feel confident that he wants the same thing, and you both need to put in the effort to see each other when you can, if you live in the same town can you meet up at weekends or after school? Texting and phone calls are great ways to keep in contact. but if you feel like you're the one doing all the work and you're not as happy as you should be then you need to do what's right for you. It might hurt now, but in the long run you'll be happier, and you might find someone who's a little closer and makes sure he sees you :)

    The advice I've been given by my guy friends in the past is that if a guy is interested he will put in the effort to see you. I started dating a guy last year, he was at my uni and we had great chemistry so we tried dating. in the end I had to end it with him because although we got on well and I really liked him, he just had no time in his life for me, his uni work, job, and friends came first meaning we ended up seeing each other less and less to the point that it felt like we were doing long distance when he only lived 45 minutes bus journey away (which in the city is nothing). it was only 2 months, but there were times when I felt really unhappy and I worried that he wasn't interested etc.

    My current boyfriend lives 2 hours away by train in a different town, has just as busy a social life, and we see each other as regularly as we can. we both put in the effort, we text each other everyday and can't wait to see each other. I'm so happy with him, and we may never have got together had I not ended things with the other guy.

    Like I said, you need to do what's right for you, good luck with whatever you decide to do

    • Thank you so much for this very helpful advice... that's what I was looking for. I wanted advice from someone who has actually been through this situation :(.

      Thats how I'm feeling right now, I feel like he just isn't as interested in me as I am in him. At first seemed like he liked me more than I liked him, but now its the other way around, I think. I also feel unhappy when I don't see him. And you're right, I think the best thing for me would be ending this </3

    • I'm glad I could help! I really hope it all works out for you whatever you decide to do, good luck! And if breaking up is what you feel is best, I hope you find someone who will care about you as much as you do them :)

    • Ok thank you .:)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • 3 weeks? That's it? And you're gonna dump someone cause he's busy? Man, you definitely are gonna have to grow up eventually. People get busy. Though, if he's not putting in any effort, at least talk to him about it first. If he's not willing to try, then maybe it is time to break up. And, realize, that'll happen a lot. The sparks are only in the start. After that they ALWAYS fade because the original new rush/thrill is gone. Though should still be some kinda love that remains.

    I dunno, you should talk to him.

    • Ive already talked to him bout it... not necessarily in person but over the phone but he hasn't done much to change it :/ And sounds legit.. sparks do seem to fade

    • Show All
    • If he still won't listen, doesn't give you the attention you want/need in a relationship, than ya, it'll be best to leave after that. You're still young.

    • Ok thank you

  • Summer isn't that far from now so perhaps being a little patient could make it work as those are quite legitimate reasons why right now you don't get to see each other that often as you'd like

    Although just because you'll have more time doesn't mean the spark will reignite, it doesn't mean HE's going to make more effort suddenly as you can fill even free summer days with work if you want to

    It's all up to you, and if I would be in your place - having a girlfriend who's always busy and doesn't reciprocate enough, I'm sure I would "break" very soon and just end that suffering as fast as possible

    • thats exactly what I was thinking, if he's not making at least a little effort then why would he suddenly start doing it later on in the relationship? I agree & thanks

  • You're really in a very tough situation.

    Breaking it up is a really good way of doing things.

    You're like involved in a long distance relationship, and lack of physical presence is really hard.

    Move on from him, and find a guy who's around your area.

    • True but its going to hurt me a lot! if its already hurting me right now, I can't imagine how I'm going to tell him. We both live in the same city but it does seem like a long distance relationship. He says that we will have more time in the summer because we won't be going to school & he will have a car by then so that has given me some hope :/

What Girls Said 2

  • brake up find someone you would see almost everyday

  • I think you give it some more time and try to work out your differences.

    • Ive talked to him alreay but it still seems like he cares more about his job than me

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