How long does it typically take for a girl to get over their ex?

How long does it typically take for a girl to get over their ex completely as in not only feelings for the guy but all emotions involving that guy(sadness, anger, resentment, or any other emotion that could occur from a break up).

I noticed in my last relationship that even though she said she had no feelings for her ex she would recycle the same thoughts to me almost daily. Even though I knew she'd never go back and was always talking bad about her exes she'd still bring up the same bad situations over and over again and complain about them to me even though the situations she'd mention happened months ago. To me, that's not being over an ex and I feel the fact that she's repeat the same conversations about these exes to me meant that something was very wrong with her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends. If an ex has done something extraordinarily bad, you might never get completely over it. Whilst you get over the ex, you may not get over the things he has done and hence you might feel the need to talk about them.

    For example, my most recent ex reported me to the police for no reason at all. We were friends, a year had passed since the break up, and he was adamant he wanted to see me soon. We lived in different countries. A couple of weeks after he said that, he disappeared; simply didn't respond to anything anymore. I sent him emails and text messages since I was, at first, genuinely worried something had happened to him, and then I was angry and sad. Then I found out he was seeing someone else and I sent him one last email saying he could've told me that and not just ignored me. Four days or so later I heard from the police that he reported me because I'd been sending him unwanted messages... . See, I am over him. I don't even hate him. I'm glad he's gone because who wants someone like that in their life. But that thing with the police and the fact he just ignored me...that will be on my mind for a very long time because it's a pretty f***ed up thing to do. So if I ever get involved with a new guy, I will surely bring it up once in a while. Doesn't mean I'm not over him.


    For me, it generally takes way too long to get over an ex. At least a year. But then I have a really hard time moving on and practicing no contact so it's my own fault that these things get dragged on and on.


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What Girls Said 4

  • It depends, if a girl really loved a guy.. It never goes away, some feeling needs to stay.

  • It depends on the relationship.

    If it was a long term relationship that had a lot of commitment then it will take a while. If it was a whirlwind romance, it may hurt more, but it will heal faster. After all on some level you accept it ends as quickly as it started.

    If it was something more in depth like engagement, moving out, something like that, there was a true connection and love and it's difficult to deal with the loss of that.

    When I lost my ex, I never fully got over him. Even 6 months after, I was crying about him, dreaming of him, wanting him. We had been together 4 years. We got back together for a year, and recently broken up.

    I'm not sure some people ever get over their ex's. Some people can put it to the back of their mind and never speak of it, some people can't. I know I'm one of those people who could never forget my ex. It's natural. Your first love is the hardest to heal.

  • It took me a year and a half to completely got over my first love. It's been almost 6 months after the recent break up with an ex and still in a healing process though.

  • It took me about 3 years to get over my last ex, but that's only because he was the one who took my virginity, and I couldn't get over that he had been seeing me just for the sex. It really hurt my feelings big time. If the girl you are dating is talking about her ex on a regular basis, I would say she probably isn't fully over that situation.


What Guys Said 1

  • Aside from some unique circumstances, I think no girl ever fully gets over an ex. Girls form stronger emotional attachments. When a girl truly falls for a person and feels that emotional attachment, it has a much more profound effect than the same emotional bond has on a male. What this simply means, is once a girl is attached, it takes a really long time (and I mean a really long time) for the girl to completely drop a that person from their life, if they ever do it.

    A good analogy is like having an abusive parent. Part of you knows they are bad for you and you want to just remove them from your life, but the other part of you still recognizes that certain bond you have simply because they are your parent. Those sporadic positive memories keep you tethered to them. You might keep more distance than you used to, but you never fully detach yourself from it because the emotional bond is too strong.

    Women who have had serious relationships with someone will have a similar reaction. They'll voice feelings of guilt, remorse, an loneliness. Even though they might still agree its best not to date them, they still feel its not necessary to cut them out of their life totally. They also reason to themselves that they had such an emotional connection to this person as one point in time, that they must keep this person in their life because of that added level of connection and understanding they once and still arguable share. BF/GF's tend to know more about us than our typical friends, and even knew dating prospects that have only known us for a short time.

    Because of this, I find so many women, who will remain friends even with the most abusive of boyfriends, because they almost feel its their duty to. This person takes on the status of almost a best friend because of that understanding they have of each other.

    Just some examples from my life to illustrate my point:

    1. I had a close friend who dated an aquantence of mine for about 4yrs. He was extremely abusive an controlling. Eventually she broke up with him (for good reason). A year later they're best friends again (stockholm syndrome?) 6 months later he OD's on heroin (pushed to drugs most likely due to the emotional turmoil caused by their relationship). Even 5yrs later, she is still scared by his death even though all his best friends has for the most part put it behind them. Basically her 4yr relationship permanently attached herself to him, even though he was abusive. She simply had a friend who knew more about her life than anyone else and she couldn't replace that type of companionship.

    2. I dated a girl whom had just gotten out of a 2yr abusive relationship. She moved to my town as a result of following him out of state. After we started dating. I found out she was till hanging out with him, and even stayed at his apartment for a while. They still acted like best friends, even though she thought he wasn't worthy of being her Boyfriend anymore.


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