Dated for 6 months, but she (unsurely) feels she owes it to try with ex of 9 years. Do I let go of her?

I have been dating this girl for 6 months now. She is 30, I am 29. Everything was progressing nicely to where I only wanted, and still do, to continue to get to know her more. I think she is amazing and I want to her to be my girlfriend. She probably would, HOWVER, she was engaged to her ex whom she has known for 9 years. Long story short, with the official calling off of the engagement, she went into a an emotional mess.

I'm not privy to all of what's going on in her life while she deals with everything, but she feels like she owes it to the ex to try once more and or figure things out. She says that I should leave her alone and that I'm not listening to her by letting her go.

I'm listening but maybe I don't want to accept that fact because I like her so much... At the same time she herself doesn't sound so sure herself. I've ignored her wishes to no contact a couple times, and a few times she herself broke down and contacted me too.

I almost feel like she is torturing herself and forcing herself to give the ex one more try just because of the amount of time they have spent together. I don't think she should be setting herself up being hurt again, he cheated on her and hurt her in the past. She recognizes she is in an abusive relationship herself. Why would she want to try again with that, it doesn't make sense?

Should I continue fighting for her and show her how much I do care about her? What can I do? If I just let her go I lose all ability to have any control in the matter. Or do I just walk away and let her figure things out on her own?


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  • For now, simply walk away and let her figure things out on her own.

    She's on an emotional mess now and can't think things through.


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