Is it possible to move out, work, and go to school?

I am having trouble at home (live with parents) and I really want to move out. However, I have no job because I go to school full time.

Now, I'm not sure if I can move out, find roommates, and a job to pay for rent, and go to school. My friend does that, but he only takes two classes per semester :/

At home, my dad hit me because he found out that I've been in a relationship and my parents are Indian and want me to not date at all (they believe in arranged marriages). I'm 21 years old though and I feel like they have no right to forbid me to see my boyfriend OR hit me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Everything you said is completely correct- they don't have any right to hit you or forbid you from seeing your boyfriend. They also have no right to dictate your love life at all.

    My suggestion is try and find a job first, any simple entry-level job, and do it part-time. Save as much of it as you can for a couple of months and when you've got some more saved up move out. You can find apartments with roommates, or college accommodation. It won't be glamorous or as comfortable as living in a family home, but it will be worth it.

    If you're doing a very intense college course, such as engineering or medecine perhaps, you would probably be better off staying at home because of their comfort. If your college programme isn't as intense, I'm sure you will be fine to work part-time and study. Remember you can usually organise your hours to put more of them on weekends or days with less classes. I'm not sure about the US, but here in Europe most students do work part time and study.

    Until you are capable of moving out, I suggest you be "diplomatic" so to speak, around your parents. Be tactful. Try to remain distant enough so as not to get any more personal details that would bring up arguments spilled around them, but at the same time polite and dutiful enough that they can't pick on you or get angry at you for being distant or "rebellious".

    Before you leave, if you do end up being able to, as another user suggested, you could then calmy and tactfully explain your reasons for doing so and your own feelings on your need for independance etc. I'm not sure, but maybe I wouldn't bother doing it too long before you move or if you don't end up being able to move at all, because chances are they probably won't listen to you anyway and may just become more unbearable.

    Best of luck with everything :]

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What Guys Said 4

  • Find a job first and save up for a bit.

    In all honesty you're probably going to have to take out loans. Apply for financial aid (since you would independent you should be able to receive enough aid to at least cover school).

    Find an inexpensive place and get enough roommates to where it's comfortable but affordable. More roommates = Less rent.

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    • My boyfriend's parents have him pay 125 per week. I'm thinking if I move in with them that it might work out.

    • Ask them, if you can afford it and they're okay with that, I don't see why not.

  • Find a way to make it work. Take 2 classes a semester like your friend if you have to. No one deserves to have to live in an abusive situation. It's scary at first but you'll find a way to make it work.

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  • Do the same. Take two or three classes and work full time. You should do it. I know I would.

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  • Simply find a stable source of income before moving out.

    You're in a pinch and will live in poverty, poorer than rats.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Yeah sure you can do it you just have to have the commitment and drive. As well as know your limits budget wise and mentally as to how many classes you would like to take working to pay rent and live not unless you live on campus and it's included to your college bill.

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  • No parent in the world has the RIGHT to hit his child, that's abuse. But as long as you live under his roof, they can "forbid" you to see him, unfortunately, no matter how old you are. Ofcourse, over 18, you have the possibility to make your own decisions.

    Anyway, it is possible to do that, but just know that you won't have a social life anymore and you'll have to work your ass off. Your friend takes two classes per semester, if you wanna take more, you'll have to work less than him, earn less, maybe not being able to afford an appartment.

    Is there no chance that your parents will listen to you if you try to talk to them in a grown up way?

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    • Well my mom said we'll talk in the afternoon when she gets back home from work. I don't know what we'll talk about, because I am not breaking up with my boyfriend. Tonight, we even said "I love you" to each other for the first time and I know he's serious about me. I'm thinking about moving in with him and asking if he can find me a job at the place he works. I do have a $1,000 saved up so I can help him pay for rent and stuff.

    • Write down some stuff you want them to know, but do it like a grown up, not like: "but moooom he loves meeeee", that's like a 15 year old. You say "if he can find me a job", why can't you look around for a job there? You know best what you wanna do? I'm afraid 1000 dollar won't get you very far, maybe not even two months of rent, let alone bills, food, ...

  • I haven't moved out because I am tied down with a car payment sadly, but it will be paid off in June! I work full time during the day, I work either 8-4 or 12-8 , I take off Friday and Wednesday and I have classes 8-11:00 on Mondays and on Wednesdays I have class 8-11 and then 4-10, so yes it is possible and I attend class full time, no online classes, as long as your job pays well you can work around it girl, my dad is abusive and my mom is always bringing me down! Not to mention I have to pay for my college out of my pay check because I do not receive financial aid considering the amount of money my mother makes. If you need someone to talk to just message me, I know how you feel girl

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  • a lot of people work and go to school full time...

    and a lot of people (I haven't so I can't give personal advice) pay their way through school while paying their own rent too. it won't be the most luxurious living space but I'm sure you can get a job and find room mates and get an apartment near school.

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  • I know a guy who works a full time job and goes to school full time. I actually think his brother does too, but I'm not sure. So its definitely possible, just really tough. Its possible your grades might suffer a bit but in my opinion that would be worth it for moving somewhere out of harms way and into a life where you have more autonomy.

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