This is in relation to my previous question. It has been 3 weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend. I am not really mad at him, and it just didn't really work out between us, so I still want us to be friends. We work in a same office and he keeps on ignoring all my attempts to talk to him. I hate to see him so grumpy and quiet during the whole shift. I don't talk about us with our colleagues so they are trying to ask me what has been happening between us. They've seen us through our entire relationship for more than 2yrs. I sensed that maybe he is not really ready to talk about it yet so I stayed away for more than a week. I tried to talk to him again today and he still ignores me. I asked him if he could remove my photo as his profile pic because I don't want to hope that he still has feelings for me and the possibility of us getting back together. He did change his profile pic but he still ignores me. He does not answer my texts, calls, he doesn't even respond when I send him private messages in the office. Why is he doing this to me? How shall I respond to his behavior?
Most Helpful Guy
sigh...When will women figure out that you can't have a consolation prize. When you date someone, there is no going back. You either continue to date, or you no longer exist in each others lives.
I think women want and enjoy this sort of arrangement for a few reasons. 1) It relieves them of the guilt that many women suffer from, that is inherent in their gender due to the increased level of empathy women are programmed to have for people. 2) she can still fulfill a lot of her desired even with a guy who is just a friend. She can have an emotional connectiong/support, security, a companion for activities and events, etc. The key being the emotional connection that is still able to remain even outside of a relationship.
Guys on the other hand are more sexual. The emotional stimulation isn't as much a driving factor as the sexual things are and by sexual I don't just mean intercourse. We want to be physically close to you, to touch you (i.e. holding hands, cuddling, kissing, sex etc,) and to feel that female affection. The problem is non of this can be had through a friendship. It's really the same reason guy either want to date you or have nothing to do with you. We don't like being friends with girls, simply because we don't get the same value as women do out of a simply friendship.
When a girl asks a guy to be friends after a relationship, its like giving a child a toy to play with, then after it becomes their favorite toy, you take it away and tell them they can no longer play with it, but they can just look at it. Obviously that's such a tease, and so emotionally and physically gut wrenching that its practically unbearable. So as a result, we find that if we can't play with the toy, our best solution is to throw it away, so we're not tempted to play with it, nor does it illicit an emotional response when we see it.4