What to do if he says 'he's not ready for a relationship?'

So there's a guy I like loads, and he says he really likes me too, but recently when things started moving forward I told him I wanted to be in a relationship before we have sex. He said he isn't ready for a relationship because his ex cheated on him with his friend, so he has trust issues and is scared of getting hurt again. What do you think I should do? Some friends said I should move on but I cant, I like him so much. Is there a chance he will come around and change his mind? What can I do to help and show him I can be trusted? Please help :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you should move on. Just be friends. It is natural to have trust issues after getting cheated on. So he needs time to feel better. Give it time, and you will have a chance in the future.

    p.s. - There doesn't always have to be a decision between staying or moving on. There are things in between, like FRIENDSHIP, which some other guys that answered forgot to mention.

    • I don't think that this guy that you like is lying. It is normal to get scared of getting hurt. So he is telling the truth contrary to what the anonymous girl said below about him possibly being in a relationship tomorrow.

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    • right that's fine, but she should not expect him to like her as more than that

    • Yeah. I think it is fine as long as their friends. She shouldn't remain hopeful, but if the relationship happened to occur in the future, then all the better for her right? Glad to see you're keeping your cool.

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What Guys Said 8

  • All yu can do is try to help him, talk him through what happened in the past, and reassure him you won't repeat that behavior.

    You can encourage him to talk to a counselor..often they can help people with this type of problem.

    Of course, time will help, but it might mean a lot of time! Not a good option.

    Failing all that, your friends are right, you should move on.

  • He's not interested in you enough to want to get into a relationship with you. Sounds like he would have sex with you though... isn't it funny how he will have sex with you with no problems, but he has all sorts of problems and excuses about getting into a relationship.

  • He sounds like a bitch give him an ultimatium if he likes you he will take you out, tell him you are going to mve on if he doesn't ask you out.

  • You could start banging him. It's overwhelmingly likely that he would quickly become p**** whipped. Then it should be really easy to browbeat him into a relationship.

  • i agree with BlackHeart0115

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What Girls Said 3

  • Ah, I've been in this situation (similar) but, only because the guy thought relationships were too much drama or something.

    I think if he really wanted a relationship, he'd go for it with you. He could really be scarred (in no place to have a relationship) or he just isn't into you. Either way, just wait it out, and don't pressure him to do anything. Also, keep your options open. Just be you, and if he doesn't trust you in time, you know that it isn't a good match.

  • Go buy hand cuffs

    Invite him over

    Ask him if he can help you move your (very heavy) bed

    Lead him to your room...

    Then... you hand cuff him to the bed and leave him there

    Lock the door... Enjoy!

    Say: "When you're ready, you'll be set free" :]!

    Just Kidding..


    I think that's just an excuse... It might be true..but I think most people use that or other stories to prevent from being in a relationship with someone they don't think they're compatible with.. as in he's not interested in you that way.. so not to be mean and just say "no I don't want to date you" he'd rather give you this pity story, even if it's true... Because if he were truly interested in you he'd probably give it a try anyway regardless of his past experiences..

  • he won't change his mind. he could be in a relationship with another girl tomorrow. he just doesn't want one with you, if he did he would NOT say that. He's saying this because you will NOT be his girlfriend. trust me, I learned the hard way. they'll give you every pity party and excuse in the book but you should have more self respect and walk away rather than waiting for a dead flower to blossom.


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